Monochrome: 30

Kieran sat on his bed, half-dressed with his shirt laying beside him. He stared into the mirror in front of him (which he usually covered with a sheet). What am I doing?

His phone, sitting across from him on the bed, started to buzz. He ignored it, for a moment, then reached for it. Finn was calling him. He answered it.

“Hey.”

“Hi! How are you?”

“Fine.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for a while.”

“Ah, yeah,” Kieran said. He could vaguely remember how many texts and calls he ignored.

“Anyways, do you want to hang out or something? I’m off work.”

“I… have a date,” he said, uncomfortable with the phrase.

“Oh. Want to make it a double date?”

“What?”

“I bring my date, you bring yours. We go as a group.”

“Oh,” he said. He stared at himself in the mirror. “Sure.”


Kieran and Liadan walked into the noisy restaurant, looking for Finn. He emerged from a group of tables on the right.

“Hey guys! We’re over here,” Finn said, waving his arm towards the right.

They followed him through the chairs and tables until they reached a booth at the back. Bianca sat on the inside, and took notice of Kieran and Liadan. She got up from her seat to meet them.

“Kieran, I didn’t expect you’d be bringing Liadan!” Finn said with a laugh.

“Yes…” Bianca said, staring at Liadan.

“Er, yeah,” Kieran said, awkwardly.

“Do you mind if I talk to my sister for a moment?” Bianca asked.

“Sure!”

“Okay.”

“Thanks,” she said, taking her sister off by the arm. Kieran and Finn sat down at the booth.

“Bee seemed a bit mad. Wonder why that is?” Finn said.

“Hm.”

Kieran stared at the menu in front of him, silent, waiting for Liadan and Bianca to return. I thought this would help. It’s just making it worse.

“Ah, there they are.”

Liadan and Bianca returned, and Kieran stood up to let Liadan into the booth. Kieran sat facing Bianca, who stared at him for a moment.

“So, when did you two get together?” Finn asked.

“A few days ago; Kieran asked me out when I came home to watch the Bruins game,” Liadan answered.

“Ahh. So, things worked out for you after all, Kieran?”

“Huh?” Kieran said, looking up.

“That night, you said there was someone you liked.”

“Oh. Yeah,” Kieran answered.

The conversation drifted around, held mostly by Finn and Liadan, with the occasional input from Bianca. Kieran focused his attention elsewhere, his chest tightening. His head pounded faintly.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, standing up from his seat and heading to the bathroom. A man walked past him, and he pushed open the door of the men’s room. He walked to the sink, placing his hands down and staring into the bowl. He ran the water and splashed his face, staring down as it dripped.

He took a breath and looked up into the mirror. His hand reached towards the glass, resting on its cold surface. I just want to break it. He exhaled and slid his hand off, turning to the dispenser on the wall. He dried his face and left the bathroom. Liadan stood outside the door.

“What?” he asked her, standing in front of the door. A man walked toward him, and he stepped out of the way.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you don’t like me,” Liadan said. He had no response.

“I’m not offended or anything. I just don’t think you should do this to yourself.”

“What am I ‘doing’?”

“Lying. And, don’t get me wrong, I know I shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place…” she said. “But, let’s just quit while we’re ahead.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t know what I do and don’t know,” Liadan said, firmly.

“Then, what? What do you know?”

“I know about Finn.”

“What?”

“Bianca told me, unintentionally.”

Kieran froze. His heart rate quickened.

“I… have to go,” he said, walking off towards the exit.

“Kieran!” Liadan called. He moved faster. He threw open the doors, and felt the cold wash over him as his feet took him away.

Monochrome: 29

Finn walked down the sidewalk, his shoes sloshing through the wet remains of snow and ice. He quietly hummed a tune he couldn’t remember well as he approached the distant apartment building. While he drew nearer to the apartments, he passed by a pair of figures walking down the sidewalk beside him. He double-taked, and turned around. Watching as they walked off, he realized it was Kieran and Liadan.

Heading up the stairs and into his apartment, his mind wondered about what he saw. It was slow to process. Were they holding hands? He recalled it carefully. Huh? Are they dating or something?

He leaned against the door to his apartment. It just didn’t click in his head.

That’s… weird.

He sat down, still thinking. Is that what Kieran was talking about the other day? When did they get together? Why didn’t they tell me?

He stared off into the living room, then he took his phone out of his pocket. Staring at it for a moment, he typed out a message.

“Bianca - want to try going out again?”

He sat quietly as he waited for his phone to buzz.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay”

He sat his chin in his palm. …why did I do that?

Monochrome: 28

“What kind of stupid idea is that?” Devlin shouted.

“I don’t know, maybe it will fix me,” Kieran said.

“Fix you? What’s there to be fixed!? I thought this wasn’t an issue anymore,” she asked.

Kieran stared off, visibly strained. Devlin sat at the counter in his apartment as he sat against the wall.

“You can never look people in the eye.”

“…I know.”

Kieran rubbed his hand against his forehead. “Maybe this will work.”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Devlin asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. Devlin looked at her phone and sighed.

“Look, I have to go. If I’m gone too long, my dad’s gonna wonder what’s up, and I’d rather not deal with his bullshit. Please… don’t do anything drastic. Anything else,” Devlin said.

“Yeah.”

“Goodbye, Kieran.”

“Seeya.”

Monochrome: 27

Liadan walked towards the glass double doors of the Grisaille Apartments, thinking about the hockey game she just missed the first thirty minutes of. She pushed open the door and noticed a figure sitting against the wall in the dark lobby. She took a moment to let her eyes adjust.

“Kieran?” Liadan asked, letting go of the glass door. “What’re you doing there?”

“Sitting,” he answered, not looking up.

“No, I mean, why here?” she asked, walking towards him.

“Don’t know.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not about to kill myself, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said, staring forward. She wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Sorry, being an asshole. I should stop that,” Kieran said, sighing. “I’m just agitated.”

“It’s fine. Do you want to talk?”

“No, not really. Sorry.”

“Alright,” Liadan said. She walked to her apartment door and took her keys out of her pocket.

“Liadan.”

“What?”

“…would you go out with me?”

“Huh?” she said. They were both quiet.

“…are you sure?” she asked. He didn’t respond.

“…okay.”

Monochrome: 26

It was late in the afternoon. The sports bar buzzed with chatter. Kieran, Finn, and Gavin met after work. Finn was at the bar, ordering their drinks.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Kieran asked, leaning against the half-wall across from the bar.

“Huh? What, me and Finn?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah.”

“We went to the same college. Shared a few classes. We both thought, ‘hey, you seem pretty cool.’ Good story!” Gavin said, laughing at himself.

“Pft, a jackass like you?” Kieran joked.

“Well, he seems to have no problem with you,” Gavin retorted.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, man, you’re like, the Jack of Asses. That’s how much of a jackass you are,” Gavin rambled.

“That college education sure paid off.”

“You see? This is what I’m talking about!”

“What are you two going on about?” Finn said, handing them their drinks.

“This kid’s embarrassing himself,” Kieran said, taking a sip from his glass.

“Haha, shut up,” Gavin said.

“Nice to see you two getting along, in whatever weird way that is,” Finn said.

“How old are you, Kieran? Calling me ‘kid’. We’ve gotta be the same age,” Gavin asked. They started walking towards their table.

“Twenty-seven,” Kieran responded.

“What? No way. I’m twenty-four,” Gavin said, surprised.

“Heh. Kid,” Kieran joked.

“Three years difference isn’t that big, you know.”

They sat down at the table, placing down their drinks and watching the hockey game. Gavin took his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh, damn. I gotta head off, already,” Gavin said. He threw some money down on the table. “Jenny’s out early. That covers me, and I threw in a little extra. I’ll see you guys next time!”

“Alright! And, hey, by the way; don’t forget to return my book.”

“Oh, yeah! I’ll get that back to you. Seeya, Kieran!”

“Bye,” Kieran said. Gavin left the table and walked to the exit.

“Those two are pretty much inseparable,” Finn said. “Been dating since high school, apparently.”

“Huh… are they getting married?”

“Gavin said he wants to, once they’re more financially secure and they know what they’re doing. It’s sort of weird to see that, to me. I’ve never had a girlfriend for more than three months.”

“Ah, yeah,” Kieran agreed.

“What about you?” Finn asked.

“Huh? Oh. I’ve… never dated anyone, actually.”

“What? You’re kidding!”

“No,” Kieran said, staring at his hands while he crumpled up a straw wrapper.

“Didn’t expect that. You’ve at least liked someone, right?”

“…not until… recently,” Kieran said. He stared at the table.

“How‘s that going?” Finn asked.

“…I don’t know,” Kieran responded, taking a drink from his glass.

“Hm… well, hey,” Finn said, raising his glass. “Here’s hoping you have some success.”

“Yeah,” Kieran said. They both took a drink. The bar lulled for a moment, and Kieran overheard a man speaking, “What a couple of fags.”

“Wow, what an asshole,” Finn spoke up, taking notice of the man’s comment.

“I’ve gotta head off,” Kieran said, getting out of his seat.

“What?”

“Here’s my part of the bill.”

Monochrome: 25

Finn sat in the small break room in the back of the bookstore, hovering over a tray of microwave Pad Thai and staring at the clock. It was around 1 PM, and business was slow. Mr. Graham, who owned the bookstore, was minding the counter. Finn was thinking about the hockey game later; the Bruins would be facing the Canadiens, and he was hoping to watch the game with some friends.

None of my friends are really into hockey. He thought about it for a moment. Kieran! He likes hockey. And maybe I’ll see if Liadan’s interested, too.

Finn took his phone out of his pocket and hammered out a message addressed to Kieran.

“Bruins game tonight. We should watch it! Thinking of inviting Liadan.”

“ok. we can watch it at my place?”

“Okay! I’ll bring snacks.”

He looked at his phone, checking for Liadan in his contacts. He sent her a message, as well.

“Do you like hockey?”

“YES”

“Canadiens at Kieran’s later?”

“Fuck yes”

Finn laughed and shut his phone, then tossed his tray in the trash and went back to work.


Finn knocked on Kieran’s apartment door, a bag of snacks in one hand. After a moment, Kieran opened the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi! Is Liadan here yet?”

“She’s been here for an hour,” Kieran responded, pointing to her from the door. “Been watching the pre-game stuff, sitting, what… five inches away from the TV.”

“Hahaha, I didn’t know she would get that excited about it.”

“Neither did I. She practically busted the door down, coming in here.”

“Well, this should be fun…” Finn said with a laugh. He walked into the apartment and greeted Liadan, who remained focused on the TV (despite the commercial playing).

“Where should I put these chips?”

“Oh, hang on,” Kieran said. He went over to the coffee table in front of the TV and cleared off some sketchbooks and tools. “Here’s good.”

Finn stuck the bag of chips on the table and set a jar of salsa with it.

“The game’s starting!”


“Aaargh!” Liadan shouted. “I can’t believe we lost again.”

“Well, hey, that was a pretty good game. We came really close,” Finn said.

“Yeah… I gotta admit, I did enjoy it. It just sucks! We were almost there.”

“We’ll get ‘em next time,” Kieran said.

News anchors chattered quietly on the TV about the hockey game.

“Alright… I’m gonna head off. I’m tired!” Liadan said.

“Okay,” Kieran responded.

“Ahhh, I’m still really hyped from that game,” Finn said.

“Haha.”

“Do you want to hang out, still?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Liadan said, heading for the door.

“Seeya.” “Bye!”

The door quietly shut behind her. Finn and Kieran sat, stationary.

“Hmmm, do you watch much TV?” Finn asked.

“Not really.”

“There’s this show I started watching recently, it’s pretty funny. If you want to watch it, I can get my laptop and we can watch it on the TV.”

“What? You can do that?”

“Yeah! I just hook up this cable to your TV and it will display my computer screen… and then I can just play the videos.”

“Is that like… legal?”

“Hahaha, yeah! I’m using this website I subscribed to.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t really get it, but, sure. Let’s watch it.”

“Alright! I’ll go get my laptop!” Finn said, leaping out of his seat. “Be right back!”

He quickly went out the door. Kieran arched forward in his seat, staring unfocused at the television screen. For once, he was feeling content. It had been some years since he could recall when he last felt this way. But, it pushed apprehension forward in his head. I shouldn’t get too comfortable…

The door clicked open again, breaking Kieran from his thoughts. Finn came in, a silver laptop under his arm and a cable in his hand.

“Is it okay if I move the TV?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Kieran quietly watched as Finn hooked the cable up to the TV, and then to his laptop. He messed with the settings a bit until the image appeared on the television.

“Here we go!” Finn said. “Where should I start? Oh, there’s this one great episode in the second season that I saw recently… but I don’t want to show you them out of order. But the first season isn’t as good…”

He thought for a bit.

“Okay, I’ll show you that episode, then the first season.”

“Alright,” Kieran answered. Finn stood up and sat next to Kieran, setting his laptop on the floor in front of him.

“The audio doesn’t play through the TV, I don’t know how to get that to work quite yet. So we’ll have to listen to the laptop.”

As the show played, Finn would point out things and explain the show. Kieran watched quietly, hearing more of what Finn was saying than the show. Finn laughed, and Kieran smiled. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.

By the time the next episode started, Finn was already starting to lose his steam. His commentary slowed down, and Kieran started to focus on the show. It felt like time was moving more slowly, tired as the night stretched on. He felt a weight against his shoulder. He looked, and noticed Finn had fallen asleep.

Argh… what do I do? Kieran thought. I don’t want to wake him up.

He stared at the television. I guess I just… stay here?


In the morning, Finn awoke as the sun shined on his face. For a moment, he was unaware of where he was. Ahhh, I fell asleep! He looked to his side and noticed Kieran, still sleeping.

Oh no, that’s… really embarrassing.

Kieran stirred, waking up as well.

“Errr… hi,” Finn said.

“…hey.”

“Haha, I guess we passed out.”

“Yeah,” Kieran responded, half-awake.

“I should head back to my apartment.”

“Okay,” Kieran said, stretching and yawning.

Sketches? In my blog?

It's more likely than you think.