Somewhere in the Between

Katris Tikaar Concept

2012-02-10T00:46:00.002-05:00

Ven Concept

2012-01-14T00:05:00.001-05:00

Sailor Eris Bio

2012-01-02T16:52:00.002-05:00

About the Girl

Name: Aylin
Name Meaning: "Moon Halo"
Nickname: Eris
Age: Uncertain
Birthday: Uncertain

Eyes: Dark brown, tired-looking
Hair: Short, feathery red hair
Skin: Light
Height: 5' 6"
Weight: 140 lbs
Build: Thin, some muscles built
Blood Type: A

Likes: Music, books, any sort of activity she can find to occupy time
Dislikes: Large groups of people, herself, silence
Strongest Subject: Botany, music
Weakest Subject: Language
Strong Points: Very dedicated to her goals, calm, loyal
Has Trouble With: Failure, letting things go, believing in herself
Dream: To protect the solar system

Personality: Eris is very calm and quiet, but stubborn. She dedicates herself to her goals, and anything else she can occupy her time with. She takes up a lot of hobbies to keep busy. When she isn't making herself busy, she tends to dwell on the past and her mistakes. She always wants to improve, and tries to constantly focus on that goal. She takes things to heart, and doesn't want to disappoint people.

Personal History: Born in the ancient Silver Milennium, Eris lived as a child in the city. As she grew older, life became difficult as it became apparent that she was cursed to bring misfortune wherever she went. People steadily grew outraged with her, and wanted to kill or remove her from the Moon. The Queen was ultimately given the task to exile the girl. The Princess, feeling sympathy for the girl, offered to make her an honorary guardian senshi, watching over the solar system from the far-away planet Eris. She gladly took the offer and began her new life in Castle Dysnomia.

About the Senshi

Sailor Name: Sailor Eris
Realm of Influence: No senshi powers. Cursed to bring chaos to others.
Transformation Sequence: No transformation.
Symbol: Colliding arrows, symbol of Eris
Colors: Red, black
Outfit: Typical Sol Senshi outfit with some modifications.
-Black collar with three stripes.
-Plain black choker.
-Dark red front bow, black round gem.
-White bodice with no sleeves.
-Elbow-length gloves with three black bands.
-Red skirt with a black petticoat.
-Thigh-high black stockings.
-Black back bow.
-Knee-high white boots with an inverted-V top and a black band around the ankle.
Weapons: Basic sword in an old style
Fighting Style: Hand-to-hand, sword

Sailor History: As a Sailor Senshi, Eris was the guardian of the furthest planet, planet Eris. Her role was to serve as the 'watchtower' for the solar system, observing and reporting any necessary information to Sailor Pluto, with her existence kept a secret. Many years later, Eris returned to the Moon Kingdom, to find it in ruins. She blamed the destruction on herself, and kept the Princess' hairclips as a reminder to herself. She found a message left by the Queen, telling her to wait for an age when the Princess and guardians would be reborn, and returned to Dysnomia, where she slept for thousands of years. She was awoken by the ginzuishou's resonating power after StarS.
Mission: To serve as a watch-guard to the solar system.

Super Sketch Squad Stuff

2012-01-02T12:24:00.004-05:00

Game Concepts - Cookie's Adventure

2012-01-02T12:19:00.002-05:00

Homestuck Junk

2012-01-02T12:09:00.005-05:00

Miscellaneous Sketches

2012-01-02T12:02:00.001-05:00

December 2011 Sketches

2012-01-02T12:01:00.001-05:00

Classwork

2012-01-02T12:00:00.001-05:00

Monochrome: 1 [Rewrite]

2011-11-24T18:59:00.002-05:00

The sun poured into the apartment windows, dimmed and softened by the plain curtains hanging over the window frame. A quiet beeping repeated from a small table beside the bed. Finn Blake turned under the sheets, and reached out to quiet the alarm. He sat up, eyes wincing for a moment.

Need to get ready, he thought to himself as he turned and stood up beside the bed. His hand groped at the table beside him, grabbing a pair of glasses. He slipped them on as he walked to the dresser.

I can’t tell if I’m just tired or my eyes are getting worse, he thought. He gathered his clothes and slowly headed towards the bathroom. After a quick shower, he stared at his own reflection as he brushed his teeth. He quickly rubbed his light brown hair with a dry towel, toothbrush still in mouth. After a few more minutes, he was dressed and heading into the kitchen.

An egg sizzled as it slid into the frying pan, quickly turning white. Finn stood in front of the stovetop, sipping a glass of milk as he watched it. After a moment, he tucked the egg between two pieces of toast and ate at the counter. He stared at the calendar across from him as the burst egg yolk dripped out of his sandwich and onto the plate. His thoughts hummed softly in his head as he reviewed the day’s plans.

A knock came from the apartment door, grabbing Finn’s attention. He set his plate down at the counter and walked over to the door. He peeked through the eyelet and opened the door.

“Hey, Finn,” greeted the woman standing at the door. She was relatively tall with strawberry blonde hair tied back in a ponytail.

“Oh, hey,” he responded. “What’s up?”

“Just checking in to remind you that I’ll be heading out this afternoon. I’m going up to Maine tonight, around 4,” she said.

“Right, you mentioned that the other day. Thanks for reminding me,” Finn answered.

“So, I’m gonna count on you if any trouble comes up. You have my number. Most likely, I won’t be back until after New Year’s. Maybe longer if the weather‘s bad.”

“Okay, sure. Should be fine here, there’s not usually many problems.”

“Yeah, so, I’ll let you go and get back to your breakfast.”

“Right! Hope you enjoy your trip.”

“Yeah, you have some fun, too!” she said, waving as she walked off. Finn waved back, and quietly shut the door. He quickly finished his breakfast and grabbed his coat, then headed out the door and off to work.

Here, have a shitty bg

2011-08-20T21:32:00.001-04:00

Bluff Designs + Nepeta

2011-08-14T10:22:00.000-04:00

Time for more sketches

2011-07-24T16:36:00.003-04:00

First image is a request from someone from the MSPA forums.

Sketches

2011-06-25T22:55:00.007-04:00

List of Comic/Story Projects

2011-05-02T00:15:00.003-04:00

Current:
-Street Devil
-When We Were Indestructible
-Why I Smile
-Monochrome
-Bluff!
-Lane
-Rogue Orion
-Before I Wake
-Knight
-Mega-Byte
-Untitled horror story
-Lenny the Emo Butterfly
-7 Days a Week
-Just My Imagination

Former:
-Blue Star
-[Insert Title Here]
-Adam and Sei
-Hellbound
-Kentaro
-Miscellaneous
-Kiki Can

White

2011-04-27T01:00:00.001-04:00

White again.

It’s always white. The bed sheets and the pillow. The ceiling, the curtains. Everything is white. It stings. It’s relentless. White is an unforgiving color.

I hate white.

White is always what I wake up to afterwards. After that deep, still blackness. The sort that reels me in, makes me numb, and steals my breath. It’s hard to stay in the darkness. Someone always pulls me back a step. But I’ll always have one foot in the black.

When I start breathing on my own again, it’s harsh. The air is sour and burns with chemicals. I can barely see from all the white. My body is weak and slow to respond.

I lie still. There is nothing to do but wait. My mind turns rapidly. I feel bitter. At a loss. My chest swells with resentment. Defeated. Failed.

I know this routine all too well. There’s always questions. Question after question. I run out of answers. So, most of the time, I say nothing. I just want to leave that searing white.

Today, it’s white again. I wake up alone, my head pounding. The white is like a drill, boring at my skull. I sit up and lean forward, resting my forehead in my palms. I groan, weary from pain. My body is weak, as usual. An IV snakes around my arm. My mouth tastes terrible. I roll my head in my hands as I look to the side. I notice something on the table beside me.

I slowly pick up my head from my hands, reeling a bit as my headache surges. I grope at the table and grab the edge of a bag. A note on it says, “For Kieran Sullivan, Room C113.”

Without opening it, I think I know who this is from.

In an instant, my pain begins to fade.

White can be alright.

Monochrome: 43 (Updated)

2011-04-05T15:29:00.003-04:00

Some time after midnight, Kieran sat on the couch thinking, engulfed by the light from the television before him in the otherwise dark apartment. It buzzed quietly, droning about baseball games some twenty years in the past. He was still too awake to sleep; his head ticking away every second. He still kept thinking about that morning, what Finn said, and what he did. He was embarrassed, but happy.

As he sat locked in his thoughts, he heard a knock on the door, surprising him. He got up from his seat and walked to the door, spying Finn through the eyelet. He absently reached at his hair and patted it down while he opened the door.

“Ah, hey… I didn’t wake you up, did I?” Finn asked.

“Nah,” Kieran said, shaking his head. “Was just sitting on the couch. I haven’t been able to sleep.”

“Me neither,” Finn said.

“Did you… want to hang out, or something?” Kieran asked him. Finn hugged him.

“Yeah.”

“Ah, jeez…” Kieran muttered, feeling his heart speed up and his face grow hot. “Alright. Come on in.”

Kieran shut the door and walked over to the couch, Finn following him. He sat down on the floor, his back against the couch. Finn sat beside him. They were quiet, staring off at the television. Kieran’s thoughts got louder and faster, and he broke the silence first.

“You know… you’ve got a habit of saving my life,” Kieran said.

“Huh?” Finn said, looking at him.

“Well, you’ve done it, what, five times now?”

“…five?”

“Ah, yeah. There was this morning… well, I’m not sure if that counts! I wasn’t actually trying to kill myself. But, I guess you tried to save me either way.”

“Err, haha, sorry about that.”

“That’s alright. Turned out fine in the end,” Kieran said, smiling. “Then… there was around a week or two ago.”

He paused. Finn looked unhappy.

“And, before that… in January. I had a gun, but, you walked into the apartment.”

“I knew something was up.”

“You didn’t say anything?”

“I thought that it wouldn’t have helped.”

“Yeah… I was being a bit unreasonable at the time. Then… back when I lost my job. Everything was shit, then. If you hadn’t started talking to me and trying to be friends…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah. And… the first time was when you moved here.”

“What?”

“Do you remember when you were first moving in? I made a… nearly successful attempt then.”

“I don’t like to hear it called ‘successful’…” Finn said, looking bothered.

“I’m sorry. That day, Liadan was upstairs, reviewing the room before you arrived… and she came to my room to remind me. And then she found me on the floor… I was… well…” Kieran said, his expression strained. “She… took me to the hospital.”

Finn said nothing, for a moment. “I’m sorry, Kieran.”

“It’s alright,” he said, smiling at Finn. He looked at the TV, noticing something in a commercial.

“Oh, oh wow. This is a really terrible commercial.”

“Hey, Kieran.”

“What?” he asked, turning back to Finn, his eyes still on the television. He was surprised as Finn pressed his lips against his own, hugging him.

“What was that?” Kieran said, his face heating up.

“Payback,” Finn said. “For surprising me earlier.”

“You dork,” Kieran said, laughing. He turned away and covered his face with his hands, peering out between his fingers.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“No.”

“You totally are.”

“Shut up,” he said. He could feel his face heat up again.

“Anyways,” he started, looking to change the subject. “You know what’s kind of funny?”

“You being embarrassed?” Finn asked, smirking.

Kieran glared at Finn for a moment.

“Sorry, haha. Go on.”

“Today is Devlin’s birthday, too.”

“Huh! That’s weird. How old is she?”

“Eighteen now.”

“She must be graduating soon.”

“Yeah… I feel bad, because I sort of forgot to do something for her. I was sort of…” Kieran said, pausing. “…more focused on you.”

Kieran smiled, continuing, “But, she seems to have had a good day. I talked to her earlier, for a moment, and she seemed the happiest I’ve heard her in a good while.”

“That’s good! Do you know what happened?”

“I think she’s got a new boyfriend or something.”

“Ahh, that’s great!”

“He better not be some stupid screw-up,” Kieran muttered. “But, I guess if he makes her that happy… then, he’s probably alright.”

“Hahaha. You sound like her brother or something.”

“Yeah…” Kieran said, trailing off. They sat in another lull of silence, the only noise coming from the faint television. Kieran turned a question over and over in his mind. He felt tense, but he managed to speak anyways.

“What happens now?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Finn replied, looking at Kieran.

“I mean… with us,” he said. His heart sped up again.

“Well, what do you want to happen?” Finn asked.

“I… want to be with you,” Kieran answered, looking away from Finn. Finn smiled, and placed his hand on Kieran’s.

“We already are.”

Kieran’s face burned red, and he covered it with his other hand.

“I can’t handle it when you say stuff like that,” Kieran said quietly. Finn leaned against his shoulder.

“I know what you mean.”

99 Plush

2011-03-24T17:52:00.003-04:00

HERE IS THE PACKAGE I SENT TO ADAM AND TRACY. Bead sprites, ACEO! Also, a plushie of 99. Look at that soulless stare! Adorable. Here's a picture dump!

BONUS ACTION HAND!

I bet you guys are so sick of my Spider-Man bed sheets.

Lagrangian Point (2)

2011-03-23T00:29:00.002-04:00

 I've learned the feel of this ground,
    its surface forms me in shifts,
        hollow bones snapping and cracking.

These feathers used to be my own,
    but now the earth lays claim to those remains.
As I become one with the clay,
    it becomes one with me.


Tearing me from the ground-
    I heave, and creak, and bleed,
        and cold air seeps inside me.
I'm losing my familiar fragments,
    let into a strange and icy world.

I remember the ease of sorrow
    and where you pulled me loose.



You speak in words I've never known,
    full of color and song and love.

I've never felt this sort of sting before,
    twisting and writhing
        in a complacent sort of madness.
These fits and tremors
    ease me to the breeze.




These days, I drift steady in your wake-
    careful and trained, gliding on air,
        defiant of the distant, groaning earth.

I'll pace myself
    and one day

        you'll see

I'll fly by your side.

WELL HELLO THERE HAVE SOME SKETCHES

2011-03-14T01:13:00.003-04:00

Art Fart

2011-03-11T14:49:00.000-05:00

Lagrangian Point

2011-03-10T15:44:00.002-05:00

I've learned the feel of this ground
Its surface forms me in shifts
Hollow bones snapping, cracking
These feathers used to be my own
Taken now by the earth
As I become one with the clay
It becomes one with me

Tearing me from the ground
I heave and creak and bleed
Cold air seeps inside me
Losing my familiar fragments
Into a strange and icy world
I remember the ease of sorrow
And where you pulled me loose

You speak in words I've never known
Flowing with color and sound
This feeling I've always longed for
You guide me higher and higher
Drifting in your wake
I want to reach your height
And fly by your side.

Sketchsplosion

2011-02-17T16:38:00.003-05:00

Some junk

2011-01-21T15:18:00.005-05:00

Sakura Plushie 1

2011-01-18T20:47:00.003-05:00

Monochrome: 42

2010-12-25T01:38:00.001-05:00

Finn walked home from work on the second of March. His surroundings passed by him unnoticed as he waded through his thoughts, his feet taking over navigation.

I can’t tell him. Not yet. I don’t know how he’d react.

He buttoned his jacket and stuffed his hands in his pocket.

I mean, he said there was someone he liked. It’s not like anything would happen. I’d just be troubling him. But, still… I want to take the chance. Maybe he’s… he doesn’t…

Finn’s mind reached another question. Does this mean I’m… gay?

He wondered about it.

Kieran is the only guy I’ve ever liked… and the only person I’ve ever liked. What does that mean?

He stopped walking, for a moment, his head ticking carefully.

I should stop worrying about it. Because, all I know is… I love him. That’s good enough.

He soon reached the apartments, still mulling over his options. He took his coat off, carrying it, and went up the stairs to the third floor, his travel a distant thought. As he approached his door, he stopped, his thoughts interrupted by something. He turned around, realizing Kieran’s door was open.

This is a familiar situation…

Then, he noticed the light in the hallway, as well as the breeze. Gazing up at the staircase, he realized the door to the roof was open.

He’s not…?

Finn’s heart sunk, and he dropped his coat, running up the stairs.

“Kieran?” he shouted, looking around. He caught sight of him on the right side of the roof, standing a small distance from the edge. Finn’s heart raced as he ran towards him. “Kieran! Don’t!”

Kieran stood on the roof, staring at the distant buildings at the farthest reaches of the city. The air was bitterly cold, seeping through his clothes. He didn’t mind, since he’d only be out for a moment. Things were starting to look up, lately. He looked to the city for some inspiration, breaking in the middle of his painting.

As he stood, clearing his thoughts, he suddenly heard a shout. He started to turn, seeing Finn running at him. Quickly, he threw himself back, knocking Finn down with him. After regaining his thought, he picked himself up off of Finn. He was about to turn and yell at him when he felt Finn’s arms lock around his waist. He paused in surprise.

“Kieran, don’t kill yourself! Please! You told me you weren’t going to!” Finn shouted, his arms locked around Kieran’s waist.

“What…? No, I wasn’t going to kill myself…” Kieran said, looking over his shoulder at Finn.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, but, please, just talk to me… don’t do this,” Finn said, starting to cry.

“Whoah! Hey!” Kieran said, surprised. He turned himself, pushing back Finn. “Hey, look. I’m fine. Why are you freaking out so much?”

“Because I love you!” Finn shouted.

…what?

Finn’s face changed, suddenly alarmed at his own declaration.

“I… I mean, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m just… I was… oh god…”

Finn panicked. That was not supposed to come out. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What now? He’s going to hate me. Why did I have to say that? That was stupid! That was so dumb! How did I screw that up so badly?

His thoughts sped by in mere seconds, when he suddenly snapped back to his senses as Kieran’s lips met his own. Everything stopped, for a moment. His head slowed down and his eyes widened. It felt like a decade. He felt jolted, shocked, paralyzed. He realized Kieran’s hand was on his face. It felt warm.

Just as suddenly, Kieran started to laugh, breaking away from Finn. His laughter got louder and stronger and he fell back, bracing himself with his hands. Finn stared at him in confusion.

“Why are you…?” Finn started to ask, his voice quiet and broken.

“Sorry, sorry, haha… I’m just really happy,” Kieran said, smiling wide. “I’ve never been this happy before in my entire life.”

Finn’s heart raced again. Everything went by so quickly, he couldn’t tell what was going on anymore.

“Why?” he asked, still dumbfounded.

“Haha, maybe I should’ve explained,” Kieran said. “I… wow, it’s still tough to say after pulling that stunt, huh?”

He regained himself after a moment and stood up, offering his hand to Finn.

“I love you, Finn,” he said. He smiled wide again. Finn grabbed his hand, and Kieran pulled him up.

“You okay?” Kieran asked. “I thought you were going to throw us both off the roof, so I kind of fell on you. Sorry about that.”

“No, it’s fine… I wasn’t really thinking straight…” Finn said, still in a daze.

“Heh. Seems like it,” Kieran said. They stood still for a moment, Finn’s hand still in Kieran’s.

“Oh, today’s your birthday, right?” Kieran asked. He reached into his jacket pocket for a plastic bag.

“I didn’t wrap it or anything,” he said, taking a book out of the bag. It was Finnegans Wake by James Joyce. “I noticed your copy was really worn out, and you seem to like James Joyce, so I thought I’d get you a new one. Plus, there was that time I was drunk and I kept calling you Finnegan… I thought that would be funny.”

Finn held the book, staring at its cover quietly.

“I’m also trying to work on that painting I owe you! I was having some trouble figuring out what to paint, but I think I have it now. I’ve done a bunch of preliminary sketches…” he said, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly.

“Thank you, Kieran…” Finn said. His eyes started to tear.

“Hey, you okay? I’m not gonna kill myself.”

“I know. I’m happy.”

“Ahh. Good,” Kieran said, smiling. He put a hand on Finn’s shoulder.

“Happy birthday.”

Monochrome: 41

2010-12-23T00:03:00.001-05:00

Finn sat at the table in his apartment, his head in his palms, staring at the wood grain. Bianca sat in a chair across from him, a cup of coffee in her hands.

“I just… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk about this with you when… what happened with us… but I don’t know who to talk to. I don’t think Gavin would have anything helpful to say,” Finn said, sliding one of his hands off of his head. He turned his head to look at Bianca. “What do you think…?”

“Well, it does seem like you’re in love,” she said, smiling.

“Yeah…? Gavin thought I was for a while, I guess…”

“So did I,” Bianca said, taking a sip from her cup.

“What? So am I the last one to figure it out?” Finn asked, exasperated.

“Well, I don’t think Kieran knows.”

“Really?” Finn asked, his tone perking up. He calmed down and said, “Actually, I’m not sure if I’m relieved by that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, what if he finds out, and he hates me or something?”

“I don’t think he’ll hate you,” Bianca said, her smile a little wider.

“Okay, but like… what if it got weird between us…? Ugh… I feel sick thinking about it.”

“Hey, hey, calm down. I’m sure it won’t turn out as bad as you think.”

“Shit,” Finn mumbled, setting his head down on his arm. “How did I not realize…?”

“You’ve never been in love before. You said so, yourself.”

“Yeah, but, still… it seems… so obvious, now,” he said, turning his head to face down. His breath bounced off the table and back at him.

“I’ve never seen you act so shy,” Bianca said.

“I don’t… know how to act. My thoughts are all jumbled. I feel sort of frustrated and happy and afraid.”

“Yes, that sounds about right.”

“What do I do? Do I tell him? Do I wait…? Or…?”

“I think you should tell him.”

“Are you sure?” Finn asked, picking his head up. “I don’t know. I don’t think I could handle that. I feel like my chest is going to explode, just thinking about it.”

“Do it when you’re ready,” she said. “I know you can do it.”

“You think? I don’t know.”

“What happened to your usual confidence?”

Finn stared at the table again.

“I don’t really know…”

Monochrome: 40

2010-12-22T22:03:00.001-05:00

Finn quietly returned to the apartments, wondering about his conversation with Gavin as he walked up the stairs. He stopped in front of his apartment door, reaching for his keys. Changing his mind, he turned, approaching Kieran’s door. He knocked, and waited for a response.

Kieran came to the door, hands covered in paint.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you about something.”

“Sure,” Kieran said, walking away from the door. Finn entered, pushing it shut behind him.

“So, this is probably going to seem kind of weird,” Finn said.

“Eh, probably not. What is it?” Kieran said, returning to his painting. Finn stared at it for a moment, before he remembered why he was there.

“I thought I’d ask you, since you’d know…” Finn said. Kieran continued to paint.

“What is it like… when you’re in love?”

Kieran halted. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“Just, you know, if you’re comfortable…”

“How much do you want to know?” Kieran asked.

“Whatever you can tell me.”

Kieran waited a moment, taking a breath.

“You’re confused. Afraid, even. But, you get used to this,” he said, dipping his paintbrush in a cup of water. He swirled it around and took it out, wiping the water off of it. “The idea seems foreign. Maybe even incorrect. You’re not sure. But, part of you knows.”

He continued to clean his brushes.

“You think about them a lot. Sometimes, it’s hard to think of anything else. You think about sacrifice and change. It could be anything, it doesn’t have to be big,” Kieran said, wiping off another brush. “The idea of being apart is painful. Even for a short time. You worry. About yourself, about them. There’s a lot of worrying.”

He put away his brushes in their case.

“Your heart speeds up. So does your head. There’s not a lot of coherent thought, sometimes. Just a feeling. But it’s strong. It grabs you. Pulling. It’s a tension that seems almost physical. It’s inescapable,” Kieran said. He stopped. “Does that help?”

Finn stared at him, eyes wide and searching. His chest pounded as he realized.

“I… I have to go,” he said, quickly heading towards the door. He fumbled with the door knob for a moment, his hand slipping on the paint. He opened it, quickly returning to his own apartment.

As he entered, he shut the door behind him, pressed against it. He looked at the paint on his hand and exhaled.

What do I do…?

Monochrome: 39

2010-12-22T20:17:00.000-05:00

Finn sat at the diner with Gavin, sipping his coffee as he waited for the check to arrive. His free hand lightly drummed on the wooden table. He set his cup down on a coaster. Gavin stared at the back of the diner, where a waitress wiped off the counter.

“Oh!” Gavin said. “It’s your birthday tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“Ah, yeah. I forgot, for a moment…”

“You forgot your own birthday?”

“People don’t really make as big a deal out of it when you’re an adult.”

“I guess so. I still haven’t grown out of that.”

“You haven’t grown out of a lot of things, Gavin,” Finn said, stirring his coffee.

“Ouch, harsh,” Gavin responded.

“Haha. By the way…” Finn started. “There was something you said around when Kieran was released from the hospital around two weeks ago.”

“Ah, yeah? I say a lot of things.”

“True. Well, I think it was like… you said I care a lot about him? And that you were thrown off at first. I still don’t get what you were talking about.”

“Oh, my god, are you serious?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t get it?”

“What am I supposed to get? Was it a joke or a reference or something?”

“No, no… I’m more than just jokes, you know. Anyways… I thought you liked him.”

“What?”

“Kieran. Like… uhh… you know,” Gavin said awkwardly. Finn stared at him for a moment, processing.

“Wait, what? You think I like Kieran…?” he asked, surprised.

“You mean you don’t?”

“I…” Finn began. He thought about it.

“I don’t know.”

The waitress came by, placing the check on the table. Gavin and Finn stopped to pay their bill.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Gavin asked.

“Errr… well, I don’t think I’ve ever actually liked someone like that,” Finn said. “I have no idea what it’s like.”

“Huh. That’s a bit uncommon. Well, hey, I gotta head off. I’ll talk to you later, or something.”

“Yeah. Alright. See you later,” Finn said.

Gavin headed out the diner doors as Finn sat in the booth, thinking as he waited for the waitress to return.

Monochrome: 38

2010-12-22T00:37:00.001-05:00

Kieran woke up with his face buried in the couch cushion. He groaned sleepily as he rubbed at his face, feeling the imprint of the fabric on his skin. He could hear voices in his apartment as he slowly lifted his body off of the couch.

“Hey Kieran,” one of the voices said. He realized it was Devlin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Liadan let me in. How long have you been passed out on the couch?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s around 3, I think,” Devlin said.

“3:12!” the other voice said. A girl with purple hair sat next to Devlin.

“Who the hell…”

“Oh, yeah, this is my friend, Tabbi.”

“Hello, Mr. Sullivan!” the girl said, waving.

“…why did you bring your friend?”

“We’re just stopping by for a moment; we came to check out the city a bit. She wanted to meet you, for some reason.”

“Err… hi, I guess.”

“Hi! Devlin talks about you a lot, and I know how much she worries about you. I thought it would be cool to meet you.”

“What--”

“And she said you’re a really good painter, and I really want to see some of your paintings,” Tabbi said, smiling as she sipped from a juice box. "I love art. I do fashion, and I get a lot of inspiration from art... like nouveau and deco!" Kieran stared in a mixture of disbelief and horror.

“…Devlin, why are you talking about me with your friends?” he asked.

“Oh, Mr. Sullivan,” Tabbi started. He winced at being called ‘mister’. “She was just stressed out. And then I kept bugging her about you! It’s not her fault.”

“Sorry, Kieran.”

“Eh… it’s fine. Just… unexpected.”

“Oh! Good luck with your neighbor!”

Kieran froze for a moment.

“What?!” he shouted.

“Errr… yeah, I’m sorry--”

“Why does everyone have such a great time talking about my personal life?”

“Kieran, relax.”

“How am I supposed to relax when I tell someone something that’s SUPPOSED to be a secret, and then, of course, they tell all their friends?!” Kieran shouted, panicking.

“Whoah. Okay. Calm down. Tabbi’s not gonna do or say anything to embarrass you, okay?”

“What--?” Kieran began. He stopped as he heard a knock at the door. He looked at Devlin and Tabbi, then walked to the door, opening it.

“Uhhh, hey,” Finn said, standing at the door.

“Hey. What’s up?” Kieran asked, still sounding agitated.

“I wanted to know if we were still catching the game later with Liadan?”

“Oh, shit, yeah, I forgot about that.”

“Is that his neighbor?” Tabbi asked in the background. Kieran’s thoughts went back to his previous problem.

“You know what, let’s go,” Kieran said, pushing Finn out the door.

“What? Where? You don’t have any shoes or a coat.”

Kieran quickly turned around, grabbing his coat off of the hook and putting his shoes on his feet.

“There.”

“Err, alright, where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay…?”

“Devlin, I’m heading out. Lock the door when you leave.”

“Alright.”

“Have a nice day, you two!” Tabbi called.

“Urghh…” Kieran grumbled, shutting the door behind him.

“Who was that?” Finn asked.

“Just Devlin’s friend.”

Monochrome: 37

2010-12-21T22:07:00.000-05:00

Kieran stood in his apartment door, holding a cardboard box of his personal belongings. Finn stood behind him with another box.

“It hasn’t been that long, and I wasn’t very far, but it still feels weird to come back,” Kieran said. “Also, it’s really cold in here.”

“Yeah, you can just feel the cold air pouring out the door.”

“Will have to get the heat back on, soon…” Kieran said, walking into the apartment. He set his cardboard box on the floor, beside the counter. Finn followed him.

“So, why are you coming back already? You haven’t been paid yet, right?” Finn asked, putting his box on top of the counter.

“I’m not completely out of money,” Kieran said. “I just couldn’t afford to keep paying my rent. But now that I have a job, it’s fine.”

“Ah… it is good to have some money for emergencies.”

“Yeah,” Kieran said. He sat on one of the stools and grabbed at the box that Finn set on the counter, sliding it towards him. He pried open the flaps, and took a few objects out, setting them on the counter.

“Want me to help?” Finn asked.

“Sure, there’s not a whole lot though.”

“Still is faster when there’s someone helping you,” Finn said, picking up a box of cereal from the cardboard box. They put away Kieran’s few groceries.

“I should really go buy some food after I’m done putting this stuff away. All I have that I can eat is… cereal or crackers. And chocolate milk powder. Well, not that I haven’t eaten nothing but cereal and crackers before…” Kieran said.

“Yeah, that’s a good plan. Want help with that?” Finn asked.

“What? I can go grocery shopping by myself.”

“Look at that, you’re all grown up.”

“Shut it.”

“Haha! Come on, let me help you.”

“You need something better to do with your time.”

I'm up in the woods

2010-12-21T16:03:00.002-05:00

Monochrome: 36

2010-12-21T03:33:00.001-05:00

The next week went by quickly as Kieran steadily searched for a new job with Finn’s assistance. Between this, the two talked and learned more about each other. They talked about their families (Finn had two older sisters), things they liked (Kieran often went jogging), and things they disliked (Finn was a vegetarian). Kieran started to improve, putting Finn in high spirits. He found himself sitting at work, missing Kieran.

Finn leaned against the counter, his arm supporting him. He tapped his fingers and stared off as he waited for customers. As he watched the people passing by the windows, his phone buzzed. He checked the screen, seeing a message from Kieran.

“got a second to talk?”

“Yes,” he sent back, signaling to his boss and ducking into the back room.

“So, what’s up?” Finn asked.

“I got a job,” Kieran said.

“What? Really?” Finn said, almost shouting.

“Hahaha, yeah. Record store. It’s actually in the same area as that book store you work at.”

“Oh! I know that place. When did you interview?”

“Just now.”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“I thought it’d be more amusing if I surprised you.”

“Well, anyways, that’s awesome! When are you starting?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Great! We should celebrate later!”

“Haha, alright. I’m gonna talk to Liadan about moving back in.”

“Okay! I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

Monochrome: 35

2010-12-19T18:19:00.001-05:00

“Well, that went pretty fast,” Finn said.

“Yeah, I didn’t have to bring much; Liadan’s letting me keep my other stuff in there for the next month. She’s cut me a lot of breaks on this…” Kieran said, poking through a cardboard box.

“That’s alright. She wouldn’t do it if she couldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I hope you don’t mind the crappy inflatable bed.”

“Haha, it’s fine. I’ve slept on worse. Like… the floor.”

“You don’t seem to take very good care of yourself.”

“I was never concerned about that,” Kieran said. He looked at Finn, who seemed disappointed. “Hey, I said ‘was’.”

“I just… don’t see why you hate yourself.”

“There… are a lot of reasons.”

Finn sat down beside Kieran.

“Are you okay talking about it?” Finn asked.

“…yeah. I can give it a shot,” Kieran said, picking up a pencil case. He turned it in his hands. “I feel like… I’m not any good. I’m a screw-up. I’ve got too difficult of a personality. Like I’ve messed up my whole life, and I’m just going to keep going downhill until I finally end up killing myself. I’m… kind of afraid of myself.”

“Hey, come on. I thought you said you were done with that?”

“It’s… a work in progress.”

“Now you’ve got me worried again.”

“I’m… sorry,” Kieran said, wincing. “I’ve just… been like this for years. It’s hard to change.”

“I know. I’m glad that you’re trying, though.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyways, I get how you feel, but… I think if you try to be at least a little more confident, you can really make a positive change in your life.”

“Yeah. I’ll do that.”

“Oh, also, I wanted to ask… if it’s okay… what about that person you said you liked?”

Kieran remained silent for a moment, absently fumbling with the pencil case in his hands. He took a deep breath an exhaled.

“That’s… it’s…” he said, trailing off. He shut his eyes, then opened them. “That’s not a problem, anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can accept that I am alone in my feelings. That’s fine. I don’t need anything more. As long as they’re happy.”

“That must be tough. Are you sure?”

“Yes. It… is tough. But, I’m okay with it, now,” Kieran said, tossing the pencil case back into the cardboard box. “Anyways, let’s talk about something else.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Errr, I dunno. What’s… stuff you like…? I guess?”

“Hahaha, well, obviously I like books.”

“Yeah, you have… kind of a lot of them,” Kieran said, poking at a bookcase beside him. “Do you write or something?”

“Ah, yeah. Non-fiction. Book reviews, articles, stuff like that. I post them on my blog.”

“…what’s a blog?”

“It’s like… okay, it’s like a journal that you can post on the internet for people to read.”

“…why would you do that?”

“Well, mine’s not literally a journal. It’s just a series of reviews. You can get feedback from people, and you can get more reception. They have stuff like that for art, too.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“It’s so weird to me that you don’t use computers.”

“They’re a bit expensive.”

“Yeah, just, most people our age do.”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Just uncommon. If you ever want to try using my computer, you can.”

“Alright.”

“Okay,” Finn said, standing up. “I’m gonna make some food. How’s pizza?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“What do you want on it? Mushrooms? Peppers?”

“Anything’s fine.”

Monochrome: 34

2010-12-15T16:13:00.001-05:00

Kieran stood in the lobby of the hospital, his phone at his ear. He stared out the window at the hospital parking lot. His phone hummed patiently as he placed a hand against the glass.

“Hey, Kieran!”

“Hey.”

“Were you released from the hospital?”

“Yeah. I need a ride. Do you know someone with a car?”

“Liadan, she’s busy though. And Gavin.”

“Alright, I’ll call him.”

“Oh, you have his number?”

“Yeah, I got it around a week ago.”

“Ahh, that’s great! I’ll start getting ready.”

“Alright. Thanks, again.”

“Yeah! Seeya!”

Kieran looked through his phone and called Gavin. He traced his finger on the foggy glass, drawing a bird.

“Yo! K-dog.”

“…what? K-dog?”

“I should really stop trying to give people nicknames.”

“Yeah. Hi.”

“Hey.”

“I need a ride from the hospital, and Finn says you have a car.”

“Yep. It’s not free, though.”

“What?”

“It’ll cost you… YOUR SOUL.”

Kieran paused, groaning in annoyance.

“…I’m really starting to wonder what happened to your serious side.”

“What, you didn’t think that was funny?”

“Never.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be up there in a bit.”

“Thanks.”

“Learn to appreciate my comedy while you’re waiting.”

“You would need to be funny, first.”

“Hey, th--”

Kieran shut his phone, ignoring Gavin’s protests. He found his way to the lobby seats, dropping himself into a chair. He stared out the glass doors again, then picked up his sketchbook. He opened the cover, where Finn’s note was still stuck (which made him smile), and slowly went through the pages. Messy pencil sketches covered the first five pages.

He took out his pencil and began to draw. Ten minutes later, the page was covered in a light sketch. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

“hey jerkass i’m here”

Kieran put away his sketchbook and stood up, walking towards the door. He walked outside and looked around, heading towards the patient pick-up area. A car horn suddenly honked loudly beside him, surprising him. He noticed Gavin in the car, laughing.

“Hilarious,” Kieran said, setting down his bag. He approached a bush nearby, scooped snow off of the top of it, and started to wad it in a ball. He threw it at Gavin’s windshield. Gavin rolled down his window.

“Hey, come on.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Monochrome: 33

2010-12-07T19:37:00.001-05:00

Finn made his return to the apartments, opening the double doors and wiping his shoes on the floor mat. The temperature change was dramatic, and his body was still shelled in cold. He went up the stairs to the his apartment, and looked for his keys. He placed his key in the door, which suddenly pulled away.

“Hi Finn!”

“Whoah!” Finn shouted. He stared at the man in the door, who was laughing. Gavin stood with a bag of chips.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Haha, I stopped by to see how you were doing, but Liadan told me you were still at the hospital. I decided I was going to wait, so, she let me in. Also, these chips are really good. I kind of ate all of them,” Gavin said.

“Holy crap, give me a little warning next time.”

“I didn’t intend to eat all of them, it just happened…”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Of course,” Gavin said, smirking. He stepped out of the way and let Finn into his apartment.

“So, how’s the big guy doing?”

“Big guy?”

“Kieran. I mean, okay, he’s not that big. That was kind of stupid,” Gavin said. Finn stared at him. “Just… tell me what’s up before I keep rambling like an idiot.”

“He’s good. Doing a lot better,” Finn said, taking off his coat. “We talked. I think it helped him.”

“Ahh, that’s good. I know you were really worried about him. It kinda threw me off, but I get it now.”

“What?”

“You really care a lot about him,” Gavin said. He looked at the clock. “Oh, shit! I have to get going, Jenny’s going to be pissed.”

Gavin ran into the other room and grabbed his coat.

“Wait, what did you mean?” Finn asked.

“I gotta go, we’ll talk later or something!” Gavin said, and quickly ran out the door.

“Huh?”

Monochrome: 32

2010-12-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

Kieran opened his eyes to a room filled with white. For a moment, he was lost, but he soon realized he knew that room. He had been here several times before, and as his memory slowly came back to him, he knew exactly why he was there. He sighed, his chest tight again.

A small television was jammed in the corner of the room, sports news playing in silence. He looked at the table next to him, and noticed a bag. He took it off of the table and examined it. A note on the bag said “For Kieran Sullivan.” He reached inside and pulled out a sketchbook. Checking the bag, he also found a few pencils and an eraser. He laughed.

I bet Finn did this. He looked at the sketchbook. It was the one that Finn bought him, still unused. He opened up the cover and saw another note. “I spent a while picking this out! Don’t just let it sit and collect dust.”

Laughing again, he thought, Yeah. It was definitely him.

He sat quietly, drawing while he waited for something to happen. An hour passed, and a nurse came to check on him. After she left, he heard the door open again a moment later. He looked up from his sketchbook, seeing Finn at the foot of his bed.

“Hey,” Finn said.

“Hey.”

Finn took a seat next to his bed, quiet for a few minutes, while Kieran continued to draw.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” Finn said firmly. Kieran continued to draw. “Kieran. Please answer me.”

“What do you want me to say? That I’ve ruined my life? That I have no reason to live? That I’m just… a worthless person? And that, because of it, I’m always going to be alone?”

“That’s not true,” Finn said.

“I’ve felt this way for years. I know it. It’s not just some split second decision. And things are only getting worse.”

“You’re wrong,” Finn said. “You haven’t ruined your life. You’re only twenty-seven! We’re young. We always think our lives are blowing by at this age. But really, we’re just at the start. Whatever you’ve dealt with, there’s always a way. People have gotten by with less.”

Kieran stared down at his sketchbook.

“And you’re not worthless! For one thing, you’re an amazing artist. I mean, look,” Finn said, pointing at Kieran’s sketchbook. “Stop for a second and look at that. That’s really good. And you can’t have been at that for long. And, besides that--you’re a really nice person. Sure, you have trouble communicating with people… but you can get past that. And you’ve been doing well, lately.”

Kieran looked at Finn.

“And you’re not alone. You have me. And Liadan, and Devlin, Bianca, Gavin, Jenny. They’re all worried about you. They want you to be happy. I want you to be happy. And we’ll support you. So you don’t have to hide away or keep quiet about things. We want to help.”

Kieran narrowed his eyes and took a breath.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Now, tell me what happened.”

“What?”

“What got you so upset?”

“I… it was a few things. I don’t like… Liadan. She’s not the person I was talking about. I only tried to date her because I was mad at myself. And I was upset because I can’t… be with the person I want to be with.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you,” Kieran said. “Not yet.”

“Alright… what else?”

“You’re apparently familiar with Devlin?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s not supposed to visit me. Her dad found out. I don’t know what happened, really, but… her dad isn’t exactly a nice guy.”

“She’s fine,” Finn said. “I’ve talked to her. Was there anything else?”

“I’m out of money. I’m not going to have anywhere to live…”

“You can live with me.”

“What?” Kieran asked.

“You could’ve just asked, you know. You’re welcome to stay.”

“Are you sure…?”

“Yeah. And I’m going to make sure we find you a job.”

“Hah… alright. Thanks,” Kieran said, smiling.

“That’s what I like to see!” Finn said, laughing. He stood up from his chair.

“I have to head off, but I’ll be back later. Tell me when they’re going to let you out, if you find out.”

“Okay.”

Finn walked around the bed.

“I decided…” Kieran started. Finn looked at him.

“I’m not going to kill myself… I‘m done with that. I‘m… going to live.”

“I‘m looking forward to it!” Finn said.

“Thank you… a lot. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me without your help.”

“Don’t worry about it. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Monochrome: 31

2010-12-06T15:50:00.001-05:00

Finn stood in front of his door in the hallway, staring across the short distance to Kieran’s door. He thought about what he was going to say and took a breath. He approached the door, exhaled, and knocked. There was no response.

“Kieran?”

He waited.

“Are you there?” he started, and the door clicked open.

“Hey,” Kieran said.

“Hi… do you mind if I come in?” Finn asked.

“Sure…”

Finn stepped into the apartment as Kieran opened the door and walked over to the counter.

“What is that smell? Paint thinner?” Finn asked, overwhelmed by the chemical odor.

“Yeah… was paintin’ earlier…”

“I’m going to open a window. Breathing that stuff in can be really bad for you,” Finn said, walking over to the windows.

“Yeah.”

He flipped the latch and pushed open the window, a cold breeze flooding in. He noticed Kieran’s coat on the couch and tossed it to him.

“Thanks…” Kieran said, putting the coat on.

“Hey, uhh, I’m sorry about the other day. Liadan told me you two broke up and you weren’t feeling well or something… and I figured, maybe you were stressed out, and maybe that was my fault. And then, you know, Bee and I broke up again. It was weird. I feel kind of relieved.”

Kieran stared hazily at him.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked.

“Yeah, ‘m fine…”

“You seem really out of it…”

“Uhh, yeah, it’s probably just…” Kieran said, trailing off as he fell back against the counter.

“Whoah!” Finn said, running over. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry… I…” Kieran said, starting to cry. His eyes shut as he passed out.

“Kieran!”

Monochrome: 30

2010-12-06T14:10:00.002-05:00

Kieran sat on his bed, half-dressed with his shirt laying beside him. He stared into the mirror in front of him (which he usually covered with a sheet). What am I doing?

His phone, sitting across from him on the bed, started to buzz. He ignored it, for a moment, then reached for it. Finn was calling him. He answered it.

“Hey.”

“Hi! How are you?”

“Fine.”

“I’ve been trying to reach you for a while.”

“Ah, yeah,” Kieran said. He could vaguely remember how many texts and calls he ignored.

“Anyways, do you want to hang out or something? I’m off work.”

“I… have a date,” he said, uncomfortable with the phrase.

“Oh. Want to make it a double date?”

“What?”

“I bring my date, you bring yours. We go as a group.”

“Oh,” he said. He stared at himself in the mirror. “Sure.”

Kieran and Liadan walked into the noisy restaurant, looking for Finn. He emerged from a group of tables on the right.

“Hey guys! We’re over here,” Finn said, waving his arm towards the right.

They followed him through the chairs and tables until they reached a booth at the back. Bianca sat on the inside, and took notice of Kieran and Liadan. She got up from her seat to meet them.

“Kieran, I didn’t expect you’d be bringing Liadan!” Finn said with a laugh.

“Yes…” Bianca said, staring at Liadan.

“Er, yeah,” Kieran said, awkwardly.

“Do you mind if I talk to my sister for a moment?” Bianca asked.

“Sure!”

“Okay.”

“Thanks,” she said, taking her sister off by the arm. Kieran and Finn sat down at the booth.

“Bee seemed a bit mad. Wonder why that is?” Finn said.

“Hm.”

Kieran stared at the menu in front of him, silent, waiting for Liadan and Bianca to return. I thought this would help. It’s just making it worse.

“Ah, there they are.”

Liadan and Bianca returned, and Kieran stood up to let Liadan into the booth. Kieran sat facing Bianca, who stared at him for a moment.

“So, when did you two get together?” Finn asked.

“A few days ago; Kieran asked me out when I came home to watch the Bruins game,” Liadan answered.

“Ahh. So, things worked out for you after all, Kieran?”

“Huh?” Kieran said, looking up.

“That night, you said there was someone you liked.”

“Oh. Yeah,” Kieran answered.

The conversation drifted around, held mostly by Finn and Liadan, with the occasional input from Bianca. Kieran focused his attention elsewhere, his chest tightening. His head pounded faintly.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, standing up from his seat and heading to the bathroom. A man walked past him, and he pushed open the door of the men’s room. He walked to the sink, placing his hands down and staring into the bowl. He ran the water and splashed his face, staring down as it dripped.

He took a breath and looked up into the mirror. His hand reached towards the glass, resting on its cold surface. I just want to break it. He exhaled and slid his hand off, turning to the dispenser on the wall. He dried his face and left the bathroom. Liadan stood outside the door.

“What?” he asked her, standing in front of the door. A man walked toward him, and he stepped out of the way.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know you don’t like me,” Liadan said. He had no response.

“I’m not offended or anything. I just don’t think you should do this to yourself.”

“What am I ‘doing’?”

“Lying. And, don’t get me wrong, I know I shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place…” she said. “But, let’s just quit while we’re ahead.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t know what I do and don’t know,” Liadan said, firmly.

“Then, what? What do you know?”

“I know about Finn.”

“What?”

“Bianca told me, unintentionally.”

Kieran froze. His heart rate quickened.

“I… have to go,” he said, walking off towards the exit.

“Kieran!” Liadan called. He moved faster. He threw open the doors, and felt the cold wash over him as his feet took him away.

Monochrome: 29

2010-12-06T00:11:00.000-05:00

Finn walked down the sidewalk, his shoes sloshing through the wet remains of snow and ice. He quietly hummed a tune he couldn’t remember well as he approached the distant apartment building. While he drew nearer to the apartments, he passed by a pair of figures walking down the sidewalk beside him. He double-taked, and turned around. Watching as they walked off, he realized it was Kieran and Liadan.

Heading up the stairs and into his apartment, his mind wondered about what he saw. It was slow to process. Were they holding hands? He recalled it carefully. Huh? Are they dating or something?

He leaned against the door to his apartment. It just didn’t click in his head.

That’s… weird.

He sat down, still thinking. Is that what Kieran was talking about the other day? When did they get together? Why didn’t they tell me?

He stared off into the living room, then he took his phone out of his pocket. Staring at it for a moment, he typed out a message.

“Bianca - want to try going out again?”

He sat quietly as he waited for his phone to buzz.

“What? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay”

He sat his chin in his palm. …why did I do that?

Monochrome: 28

2010-12-05T14:21:00.001-05:00

“What kind of stupid idea is that?” Devlin shouted.

“I don’t know, maybe it will fix me,” Kieran said.

“Fix you? What’s there to be fixed!? I thought this wasn’t an issue anymore,” she asked.

Kieran stared off, visibly strained. Devlin sat at the counter in his apartment as he sat against the wall.

“You can never look people in the eye.”

“…I know.”

Kieran rubbed his hand against his forehead. “Maybe this will work.”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Devlin asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. Devlin looked at her phone and sighed.

“Look, I have to go. If I’m gone too long, my dad’s gonna wonder what’s up, and I’d rather not deal with his bullshit. Please… don’t do anything drastic. Anything else,” Devlin said.

“Yeah.”

“Goodbye, Kieran.”

“Seeya.”

Monochrome: 27

2010-12-05T12:02:00.001-05:00

Liadan walked towards the glass double doors of the Grisaille Apartments, thinking about the hockey game she just missed the first thirty minutes of. She pushed open the door and noticed a figure sitting against the wall in the dark lobby. She took a moment to let her eyes adjust.

“Kieran?” Liadan asked, letting go of the glass door. “What’re you doing there?”

“Sitting,” he answered, not looking up.

“No, I mean, why here?” she asked, walking towards him.

“Don’t know.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not about to kill myself, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said, staring forward. She wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Sorry, being an asshole. I should stop that,” Kieran said, sighing. “I’m just agitated.”

“It’s fine. Do you want to talk?”

“No, not really. Sorry.”

“Alright,” Liadan said. She walked to her apartment door and took her keys out of her pocket.

“Liadan.”

“What?”

“…would you go out with me?”

“Huh?” she said. They were both quiet.

“…are you sure?” she asked. He didn’t respond.

“…okay.”

Monochrome: 26

2010-12-04T21:46:00.002-05:00

It was late in the afternoon. The sports bar buzzed with chatter. Kieran, Finn, and Gavin met after work. Finn was at the bar, ordering their drinks.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Kieran asked, leaning against the half-wall across from the bar.

“Huh? What, me and Finn?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah.”

“We went to the same college. Shared a few classes. We both thought, ‘hey, you seem pretty cool.’ Good story!” Gavin said, laughing at himself.

“Pft, a jackass like you?” Kieran joked.

“Well, he seems to have no problem with you,” Gavin retorted.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, man, you’re like, the Jack of Asses. That’s how much of a jackass you are,” Gavin rambled.

“That college education sure paid off.”

“You see? This is what I’m talking about!”

“What are you two going on about?” Finn said, handing them their drinks.

“This kid’s embarrassing himself,” Kieran said, taking a sip from his glass.

“Haha, shut up,” Gavin said.

“Nice to see you two getting along, in whatever weird way that is,” Finn said.

“How old are you, Kieran? Calling me ‘kid’. We’ve gotta be the same age,” Gavin asked. They started walking towards their table.

“Twenty-seven,” Kieran responded.

“What? No way. I’m twenty-four,” Gavin said, surprised.

“Heh. Kid,” Kieran joked.

“Three years difference isn’t that big, you know.”

They sat down at the table, placing down their drinks and watching the hockey game. Gavin took his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh, damn. I gotta head off, already,” Gavin said. He threw some money down on the table. “Jenny’s out early. That covers me, and I threw in a little extra. I’ll see you guys next time!”

“Alright! And, hey, by the way; don’t forget to return my book.”

“Oh, yeah! I’ll get that back to you. Seeya, Kieran!”

“Bye,” Kieran said. Gavin left the table and walked to the exit.

“Those two are pretty much inseparable,” Finn said. “Been dating since high school, apparently.”

“Huh… are they getting married?”

“Gavin said he wants to, once they’re more financially secure and they know what they’re doing. It’s sort of weird to see that, to me. I’ve never had a girlfriend for more than three months.”

“Ah, yeah,” Kieran agreed.

“What about you?” Finn asked.

“Huh? Oh. I’ve… never dated anyone, actually.”

“What? You’re kidding!”

“No,” Kieran said, staring at his hands while he crumpled up a straw wrapper.

“Didn’t expect that. You’ve at least liked someone, right?”

“…not until… recently,” Kieran said. He stared at the table.

“How‘s that going?” Finn asked.

“…I don’t know,” Kieran responded, taking a drink from his glass.

“Hm… well, hey,” Finn said, raising his glass. “Here’s hoping you have some success.”

“Yeah,” Kieran said. They both took a drink. The bar lulled for a moment, and Kieran overheard a man speaking, “What a couple of fags.”

“Wow, what an asshole,” Finn spoke up, taking notice of the man’s comment.

“I’ve gotta head off,” Kieran said, getting out of his seat.

“What?”

“Here’s my part of the bill.”

Monochrome: 25

2010-12-02T02:34:00.002-05:00

Finn sat in the small break room in the back of the bookstore, hovering over a tray of microwave Pad Thai and staring at the clock. It was around 1 PM, and business was slow. Mr. Graham, who owned the bookstore, was minding the counter. Finn was thinking about the hockey game later; the Bruins would be facing the Canadiens, and he was hoping to watch the game with some friends.

None of my friends are really into hockey. He thought about it for a moment. Kieran! He likes hockey. And maybe I’ll see if Liadan’s interested, too.

Finn took his phone out of his pocket and hammered out a message addressed to Kieran.

“Bruins game tonight. We should watch it! Thinking of inviting Liadan.”

“ok. we can watch it at my place?”

“Okay! I’ll bring snacks.”

He looked at his phone, checking for Liadan in his contacts. He sent her a message, as well.

“Do you like hockey?”

“YES”

“Canadiens at Kieran’s later?”

“Fuck yes”

Finn laughed and shut his phone, then tossed his tray in the trash and went back to work.

Finn knocked on Kieran’s apartment door, a bag of snacks in one hand. After a moment, Kieran opened the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi! Is Liadan here yet?”

“She’s been here for an hour,” Kieran responded, pointing to her from the door. “Been watching the pre-game stuff, sitting, what… five inches away from the TV.”

“Hahaha, I didn’t know she would get that excited about it.”

“Neither did I. She practically busted the door down, coming in here.”

“Well, this should be fun…” Finn said with a laugh. He walked into the apartment and greeted Liadan, who remained focused on the TV (despite the commercial playing).

“Where should I put these chips?”

“Oh, hang on,” Kieran said. He went over to the coffee table in front of the TV and cleared off some sketchbooks and tools. “Here’s good.”

Finn stuck the bag of chips on the table and set a jar of salsa with it.

“The game’s starting!”

“Aaargh!” Liadan shouted. “I can’t believe we lost again.”

“Well, hey, that was a pretty good game. We came really close,” Finn said.

“Yeah… I gotta admit, I did enjoy it. It just sucks! We were almost there.”

“We’ll get ‘em next time,” Kieran said.

News anchors chattered quietly on the TV about the hockey game.

“Alright… I’m gonna head off. I’m tired!” Liadan said.

“Okay,” Kieran responded.

“Ahhh, I’m still really hyped from that game,” Finn said.

“Haha.”

“Do you want to hang out, still?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Liadan said, heading for the door.

“Seeya.” “Bye!”

The door quietly shut behind her. Finn and Kieran sat, stationary.

“Hmmm, do you watch much TV?” Finn asked.

“Not really.”

“There’s this show I started watching recently, it’s pretty funny. If you want to watch it, I can get my laptop and we can watch it on the TV.”

“What? You can do that?”

“Yeah! I just hook up this cable to your TV and it will display my computer screen… and then I can just play the videos.”

“Is that like… legal?”

“Hahaha, yeah! I’m using this website I subscribed to.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t really get it, but, sure. Let’s watch it.”

“Alright! I’ll go get my laptop!” Finn said, leaping out of his seat. “Be right back!”

He quickly went out the door. Kieran arched forward in his seat, staring unfocused at the television screen. For once, he was feeling content. It had been some years since he could recall when he last felt this way. But, it pushed apprehension forward in his head. I shouldn’t get too comfortable…

The door clicked open again, breaking Kieran from his thoughts. Finn came in, a silver laptop under his arm and a cable in his hand.

“Is it okay if I move the TV?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Kieran quietly watched as Finn hooked the cable up to the TV, and then to his laptop. He messed with the settings a bit until the image appeared on the television.

“Here we go!” Finn said. “Where should I start? Oh, there’s this one great episode in the second season that I saw recently… but I don’t want to show you them out of order. But the first season isn’t as good…”

He thought for a bit.

“Okay, I’ll show you that episode, then the first season.”

“Alright,” Kieran answered. Finn stood up and sat next to Kieran, setting his laptop on the floor in front of him.

“The audio doesn’t play through the TV, I don’t know how to get that to work quite yet. So we’ll have to listen to the laptop.”

As the show played, Finn would point out things and explain the show. Kieran watched quietly, hearing more of what Finn was saying than the show. Finn laughed, and Kieran smiled. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.

By the time the next episode started, Finn was already starting to lose his steam. His commentary slowed down, and Kieran started to focus on the show. It felt like time was moving more slowly, tired as the night stretched on. He felt a weight against his shoulder. He looked, and noticed Finn had fallen asleep.

Argh… what do I do? Kieran thought. I don’t want to wake him up.

He stared at the television. I guess I just… stay here?

In the morning, Finn awoke as the sun shined on his face. For a moment, he was unaware of where he was. Ahhh, I fell asleep! He looked to his side and noticed Kieran, still sleeping.

Oh no, that’s… really embarrassing.

Kieran stirred, waking up as well.

“Errr… hi,” Finn said.

“…hey.”

“Haha, I guess we passed out.”

“Yeah,” Kieran responded, half-awake.

“I should head back to my apartment.”

“Okay,” Kieran said, stretching and yawning.

Sketches? In my blog?

2010-11-27T22:26:00.003-05:00

It's more likely than you think.

Monochrome: 24

2010-11-22T20:51:00.002-05:00

Kieran lay in bed, staring at the clock. The blue digits stared back, etching “8:14” into his mind, staying with him as he blinked. I should probably get up.

He sat up, peeling his blankets off and turning himself so that he sat on the edge of the mattress. His head was quiet and lazy, full of disconnected murmur. He stretched his arms and yawned, then stumbled out of the room. His feet found their way to the couch, where he plunged into the cushions. Goddamn, I am still really tired.

He stared off in no particular direction, vision unfocused and unimportant. His thoughts slowly processed information: It’s morning. I’m tired. I’m really tired. I’m supposed to be awake. Are there eggs in the fridge? I could go for some eggs right now. I’m supposed to do something today. I’m still really tired.

His vacant stare continued to pierce some ambiguous space between the TV and the window. No thoughts sustained themselves for more than a few seconds. He yawned, again.

“SULLIVAN!” a muffled voice shouted, knocking rapidly on the door. Ughh… no. I’m not awake. I’m asleep.

The knocking continued, and Kieran dragged himself out of his seat and towards the door, opening it.

“Hi,” Liadan started, quickly. “I really need your help.”

He stared at her for a moment, delayed in reaction.

“What.”

“My parents are running a marathon and I just lost some people who were going to help out and I really need your help,” she rushed.

“Hang on. I’m not awake. What did you say?”

“Can you help run a water table for a marathon my family’s in charge of?”

“You’re doing a marathon in February?”

“It’s for charity.”

“I dunno, I’m kind of… not awake, like I said. I gotta do something today.”

“What?”

“I need to find a new job.”

“I’ll relieve you of a month’s rent.”

“I don-- what?” Kieran said. What did she just say?

“I really need the help. I got Finn, but everyone else has work…”

“…deal.”

“You’ll do it?” she asked, visibly excited.

“Yeah.”

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” Liadan chanted, hugging Kieran. What the hell…

“Come outside when you’re ready!” Liadan said, and sped off. Kieran stood still at the door. I should… go get ready.

He stuffed some bread in the toaster, and went to go get dressed. He muttered sleepily to himself about how stupid it was to be awake so early as he pulled his shirt over his head. When he finished dressing, he went into the kitchen and grabbed his toast, quickly eating it. He downed a glass of water, then went out the door.

Kieran walked out to the sidewalk, still groggy and yawning. Finn, Bianca, and Liadan all stood beside a car.

“Alright, now that Sullivan’s finally here, let’s get going.”

“Shut up,” Kieran muttered. He could barely see from all of the light reflecting off of the snow.

“Okay, here is your station,” Liadan said, pointing at a table on the side of the road. “The marathon starts in about an hour and a half. But they won’t get to you for a little while after that. Basically, you’re just filling up as many cups as you can until the runners start coming. Then you’re going to pass off the drinks to them. All of the supplies are there. If you need to, you can stack the cups with these cardboard sheets on top…”

They checked out the supplies.

“…now, if you have any questions, I will be at the finish line. So you’ll have to call me or text me. All set?”

“Yeah.” “Yes.” “Yep!”

“Good. Thanks again!” Liadan said, and headed to her car, waving.

“So… let’s get started,” Finn said. “How about… one person passes the cups, the next fills them, and the last places them on the table?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll place the cups on the table!” Bianca said.

“Okay, then, I’ll pass off cups to you, Kieran?” Finn asked.

“Sure.”

They started filling the cups, and quickly covered a sizable portion of the table.

“How many runners are there?” Finn asked.

“Four-hundred… eighty… somewhere around there,” Bianca said.

“We should have plenty by the time it starts,” Kieran said.

By the time the runners arrived, the table was covered with cups. They each stood in front of the tables, passing off cups repeatedly, until the crowd dwindled. They fell back in their seats, and waited for the remainder of the runners.

“That was pretty intense.”

“Yeah.”

A few more runners came by, and they continued the routine. The table still held a large number of cups.

“If it’s okay, and you guys think you can handle what’s left, do you mind if I go to the finish line?” Bianca asked.

“Yeah, sure! We’ve got it,” Finn said.

“…alright,” Kieran said.

“Okay! Great. Good luck! I‘ll send you a message when it‘s over, and we‘ll come by to pick you guys up,” she said.

Kieran and Finn sat in their chairs, the wind blowing at the trees.

“So, hey, good thing it was a bit warmer today than usual,” Finn said.

“Yeah.”

“I was surprised you came to help; I figured you would be busy.”

“Well, Liadan made me an offer.”

“Yeah?”

“No rent this month.”

“Seriously? That’s awesome.”

“Yeah. I feel like a jerk,” Kieran said. He regretted saying it immediately.

“What? Why?”

“Ehh… like I’m taking advantage, or something.”

“Don’t worry about it. She can handle losing a month’s rent, plus, I think she wanted to help you.”

“That… doesn’t really make me feel any better about it.”

“Why?”

“…I don’t want people to help me.”

“Everyone needs help sometime.”

“I’m not…” Kieran started. “…forget it.”

“Well, I’m not going to let you refuse my help when you really need it, alright?” Finn said, laughing.

“Yeah. …thanks.”

Monochrome: 23

2010-11-17T19:13:00.001-05:00

Kieran found himself stalking down the sidewalk, yet again. The same routine, peering in windows and stopping in stores and businesses in search of a job. Today, he focused on another block. He hadn’t been this way in his search before, but it wasn’t proving to fare much better. As he stared through the window of a book store, he stopped. Slowly, he realized he saw Finn at the counter. Finn noticed him, and signaled for him to come in.

“Hey. This is where you work?” Kieran asked, approaching the counter.

“Yeah! It’s great, isn’t it?”

“Certainly is… a bit old,” he said. The floors creaked as the customers walked around, and the wooden columns looked worn out. The smell of wood was second only to the smell of paper and ink.

“Yeah. I like it. It’s comfortable,” Finn said. “Hang on a second.”

He turned and headed for a door behind the counter.

“I’m going to take my lunch break, is that alright?”

“Go ahead,” a voice answered back. An older man came out of the room, putting on his glasses. Finn walked out from behind the counter.

“Let’s go!” Finn said.

“What? You can just take a break like that?”

“Yeah. He’s fine with it!” Finn said, smiling at the old man. They left the store.

“So, let’s get some lunch.”

“You know I can’t afford that right now.”

“Yeah, so, I’m going to buy for you.”

“What?” Kieran said. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I will. So, you’re going to have to just deal with it!” Finn said, smiling again.

This guy sure smiles a lot.

“So, what are you up to?” Finn asked. He sat with a cup of coffee and a salad.

“Or, were, I guess.”

“I was looking for a job around here,” Kieran said.

“Oh, yeah, have you had any luck?”

“No… I thought I almost found a place that was hiring, but they just got someone. I just barely missed it,” Kieran said, sighing.

“That sucks… I’ve been trying to look out for somewhere that’s hiring, too. When I can. Oh! You know, we could probably look online to see if anyone’s hiring,” Finn said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there are websites where people post help wanted ads. We could look on there.”

“I don’t have a computer.”

“What?” Finn said, a look of disbelief on his face.

“I can’t afford it.”

“Well, yeah, especially not now… I’m just surprised. You know how to use one, right?” Finn asked.

“Sorta… I only really used them in college,” Kieran explained.

“That’s so weird… well, we can use my laptop. Come over later, after work, and I’ll help you out with that.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

“Hey, it’s no problem. I wouldn’t want you to lose your apartment.”

Monochrome: 22

2010-11-15T22:31:00.000-05:00

Kieran walked along the sidewalk in the cold, his eyes glancing over the cluster of businesses he passed by. He scanned the windows for some sort of “Help Wanted” sign. He had been down this way before -- several times, in fact (though, not all on the same day). There was never anything, but he had to try. Funds were drying up, and soon, he would have nowhere to live.

He sighed, sticking his hands in his pockets to warm them. It was too cold, and it was starting to snow. After checking a few more stores, his phone buzzed. He checked the screen; Finn.

“Hey,” Kieran said, holding the phone to his ear.

“Hi! Are you busy?” Finn chimed.

He glanced at the stores on the sidewalk.

“…no.”

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Alright.”

Kieran entered the noisy sports bar, brushing snow off of his coat and wiping his boots on the doormat. He unwound the scarf around his neck and tucked it into his pocket; then, he looked around. Finn waved at him from a table off to the left.

“Hey.”

“Kieran! Gavin’s here,” Finn said, motioning towards Gavin.

“Uhh… hi,” Kieran said to Gavin.

“Hey, I wanted to apologize,” Gavin said, sticking out his hand. Kieran awkwardly shook it.

“I was being a huge asshole last time we met. Pretty ironic, huh? Well, Finn’s explained to me pretty thoroughly how wrong I was,” he said, laughing. “So, I thought I’d try apologizing and see if we could start over.”

“Alright,” Kieran responded. That’s… not what I expected.

“Well, take a seat!” Finn said. Kieran looked around. Finn’s other friends were there, and there was an empty seat between Bianca and Finn. He sat down, and Bianca smiled at him. He directed his attention to a menu on the table.

“So, I hear you’re a painter,” one of Finn’s friends said. Kieran looked up--the voice came from the woman sitting next to Gavin.

“Yeah.”

“What do you paint?” she asked.

“…dreams. Or, whatever’s interesting.”

“Hmm… that sounds cool! You should show me, sometime!”

“Err… maybe,” Kieran muttered. That’s probably not happening.

“Kieran’s a bit private about his art,” Finn interjected.

“Ah, really? Well, if you ever wanna show me, please do. I’m an artist, too!” she beamed.

“Jenny, you just draw silly anime stuff,” Gavin said, laughing.

“Heyyy! I thought you were on my side.”

“I am, I am,” he said, hugging her and kissing her on the forehead.

“That’s more like it!” Jenny cheered. Kieran winced.

The bar grew noisy. Kieran looked across the room and noticed the hockey game on the TV.

“Looks like the Bruins aren’t doing so well, Finn,” one of Finn’s friends said with a laugh.

“They can turn it around,” Finn assured, staring at the TV.

“I still think it’s weird that Florida has an ice hockey team. Ice. Florida. The two don’t usually go hand-in-hand,” Kieran said.

“What about the Phoenix Coyotes? LA Kings? San Jose Sharks?” Finn asked.

“That’s all Western Conference, who cares? Anyways, the Sharks at least have an awesome logo,” Kieran said. “That shark fucking hates that hockey stick.”

“What’s a shark doing on the ice?”

“Waiting for it to melt?” Kieran suggested.

“Anyways, if you’re just going to talk Eastern Conference, then, Tampa Bay? Carolina? Atlanta?”

“Same thing; too damn hot for hockey.”

“Want more Canadian teams?”

“Fuck Canada,” Kieran grumbled. Finn started laughing.

“Hey, see you guys later this week!” Finn shouted as he waved to his friends. Kieran was walking down the sidewalk. Finn ran to catch up.

“That’s the most I’ve ever seen you talk!” he said, smiling.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you got along with everyone. Gavin’s been meaning to apologize for a while now,” Finn explained.

“Huh…”

“We need to hang out more often!”

“Alright,” Kieran said.

Better night than usual.

Sketch

2010-11-13T15:36:00.001-05:00

Monochrome: 21

2010-11-09T00:27:00.000-05:00

Kieran headed out the door of his apartment, turning the lock and checking the knob as he entered the hall. He checked his pockets and moved on, sure that everything was in order. The old, worn steps on the stairs creaked as he trudged down to the first floor. Heading towards the door, he caught sight of a woman he recognized -- Bianca.

“Oh, hello!” she said with a smile.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Ah, I came by to see if Finn was here… seems he’s out. I’m waiting for my sister.”

“Your sister?”

“Liadan! Finn never mentioned my last name?”

“No, I guess not,” Kieran answered. He could see the resemblance, though Bianca was smaller and more feminine.

Kieran approached the glass doors. As he stood across from Bianca, she started, “Oh, that’s right…”

“Are you in love with Finn?”

For a moment, Kieran froze.

He regained himself, and turned his head, asking, “What?”

“You are, aren’t you?” she marked, bearing that same smile.

He stared at her, trying to read her face.

“I won’t say anything.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I can tell from just the few times I’ve met you… and that’s not to say you make yourself obvious.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m not trying to be rude, here, but, I guess I was… I’m just happy that someone else loves him, too,” she replied, embarrassed.

“…why?”

“Because… you see what I see. And, you’re a very kind person.”

“I… doubt that.”

“I think you should have a little more confidence in yourself.”

“…”

“And, anyways… maybe you’ll finally be the one for him?”

“…no,” Kieran said. “I won’t.”

NEWW Fanart, Stamps, Monochrome

2010-11-07T19:12:00.006-05:00

'Stamp' designs for my Color and Design class.

KIERAN AND FINN BEING ADORABLE

Dave Strider for Andrew Hussie of MS Paint Adventures!

Dr. McNinja for Chris Hastings!

Reginald from Nedroid by Anthony Clark!

Monochrome + Reed

2010-11-01T17:25:00.001-04:00

Monochrome: 20

2010-10-31T13:54:00.000-04:00

Kieran sat at the counter in his silent apartment. His sketchbook lay open and a bottle of beer sat near it on a coaster. His pencil and eraser sat on top of the paper. He tipped his seat back carefully, balancing precariously on the stool’s legs. He could faintly hear someone in the hallway. A quick, sharp knock came at his door. Kieran tipped his seat forward to rest and walked to the door. He peered through the eyelet, seeing Finn; he seemed upset. Kieran opened the door.

“Hey,” Kieran said.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

Kieran turned and walked back into the apartment, Finn following. What’s this about…?

“Am I an idiot or something?”

“What?”

“Am I just always screwing up and no one wants to tell me?”

“No, what are you talking about?”

Finn sighed in frustration, and said, “Bee broke up with me.”

Kieran wasn’t sure how to respond. Finn continued.

“She tells me… she doesn’t want to force me to be with her when she knows I don’t love her. She thanked me for what time I did spend with her.”

“…did you love her?”

“I thought I did… But now, I don’t know, she could be right. Aren’t I supposed to?”

“I don’t think that’s something you really have any control of,” Kieran answered.

“I guess… but, I feel like I screwed up. Again.”

“Again?”

“This happens to me all the time. Every single girlfriend I’ve ever had. Am I doing something wrong…?” Finn wondered, face strained with disappointment. “I always figured that… even if I wasn’t into someone when I started dating them that it would change.”

“Don’t push yourself. You’ll find someone. And… I’m sure you’ll be happy,” Kieran told him, his heart sinking a little bit.

“Thanks… you’re a good friend, Kieran.”

Monochrome: 19

2010-10-28T00:12:00.003-04:00

Finn was returning from work, again. When he reached the third floor, he caught sight of a girl standing at Kieran’s door. He thought back to what Liadan told him.

“…are you Devlin, by any chance?” Finn asked her. She turned around and looked at him.

“Yes. Kieran’s neighbor?”

“Yes. Finn,” he said, then added, “Blake.”

“Aha. Do you know where Kieran is?” she asked him.

“No, I just got back, myself.”

“Hm, alright. Thanks,” she said, heading towards the stairs.

“Wait!” Finn said. She paused.

“…yes?”

“Do you… think I could talk to you for a bit?”

“…alright.”

They sat in a diner across the street. Devlin wanted something to eat, and Finn wanted to talk somewhere else, thinking Kieran might show up. The diner was small and quiet, walls covered in kitschy decorations and novelties.

“What did you want?” Devlin asked, glancing over the menu.

“It’s about Kieran.”

“I figured as much,” Devlin replied. She noticed Finn’s confused look.

“He’s the only connection we have.”

“I guess so.”

“So what’s up with him?”

The waitress stopped by, asking for the order.

“A club sandwich and a hot chocolate, please.”

“Just coffee, for me.”

The waitress left with their order, and Finn went back to their conversation.

“He’s… tried to kill himself before, right?”

“…yes. He hasn‘t for a while, though…”

“I think he may have been considering it a few days ago…”

Devlin was looking out the window. She asked him, “Why do you think that?”

“He had a gun.”

She turned her head quickly, eyes widened. She then narrowed them, resting her forehead on her hand and letting out a sigh.

“I swear, I’m gonna kill him. Not… literally, of course…”

“How long has he been like this?”

“Since he was younger than me.”

“Has anyone ever done anything about it?”

“His parents tried sending him to therapy after his first attempt… he improved, a bit, or maybe he was just careful about seeming that way. But that didn‘t last.”

“You know, the first time we talked, he told me he didn’t have anyone to stay with… which was why I let him stay with me until he got his key back. What about his parents and the rest of his family?”

“His parents are dead.”

“Oh… I didn’t--”

“Yeah. I know. The rest of the family… is kind of complicated. They don’t really want anything to do with him. I actually have to hide that I’m meeting him, which has been pretty difficult, for a while… but I’m starting to get more opportunities.”

“That’s awful…” Finn said.

Neither of them said anything. They watched the street outside the window as they waited for the waitress to return.

“Do you… think you can help him?”

“I know I’m trying.”

Monochrome: 18

2010-10-26T23:55:00.000-04:00

Finn slowly made his way up the apartment staircase, carefully placing his feet on each step. He had two bags of books, one on each arm, and another pile cradled in front of him, blocking his view. Today, he got to take in a surplus of old, unwanted books from the bookstore. They smelled like a cellar and were still covered in some dust. Their pages were yellow with age.

His foot made its way to the third floor, but caught on the step, sending his body forward. His elbow smacked hard against the ground and his books spilled all over the floor.

“Ahh, shit…” Finn muttered, rubbing his elbow. I probably should’ve asked for help bringing these in… He began to grab the books closest to him on the floor. Kieran came out of his apartment.

“Need some help?” he asked.

“Oh, hey Kieran! …yeah, I probably could,” Finn said, laughing. Kieran crouched down and started gathering books.

“There’s a hell of a lot of these…” Kieran said.

“I like books.”

“I noticed.”

They finished cleaning up the mess and Kieran walked over to Finn.

“Gimme those,” he said, referring to one of Finn’s bags.

“Huh? I can take them.”

“Just give ‘em to me.”

Finn handed him the bag and walked to his door, taking out his keys. They entered the apartment and set the books down on the dining table.

“Thanks,” Finn said, smiling.

“Want me to help put them away?”

“Eh? You don’t have to do that. It’ll probably take a while.”

“What do you do, alphabetical order?” Kieran asked.

“…yeah,” Finn said. “I need to record what I have, first.”

“Ah. Yeah. This is a lot.”

“I’ll be right back,” Finn told Kieran. He walked down the hall to the study and picked up his laptop. When he returned, Kieran was sorting the books. Finn took a seat with his computer, and started to type. Kieran handed him books.

“Oh, do you remember my friend Luke?”

“I think so,” Kieran answered.

“He told me today that he’s gay,” Finn said.

Kieran was silent.

“I don’t have a problem with it, you know? But I am a bit sad he didn’t tell me before,” Finn added. “I get why, I just wish he felt more secure about it.”

“…yeah,” Kieran responded. “Why tell me?”

“I’ve just been thinking about it all day. I know you probably don’t care, I just wanted to talk about it. I think I can trust you.”

“…thanks.”

After Finn finished making his inventory, they started to put books away in the study.

“You know… I think that, for now, I’ll put these at the end. Separate the new from the old. This way it’s easier for me to find them,” Finn explained.

“Alright.”

Filling the shelves became relatively quick work. Kieran sorted out the books and handed them off to Finn.

“I have a question…” Kieran began.

“Yeah?”

“Are you happy with your life?”

Finn paused for a moment. He didn’t really see that one coming. He thought about his response.

“I think so. But, people always tell me that I’m too much of an optimist,” he said, laughing. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering…” he replied, passing off another book.

More Doodles

2010-10-25T14:22:00.003-04:00

Monochrome: 17B

2010-10-21T16:35:00.001-04:00

The cold metal of the gun between Kieran’s warm hands only added to his anxiety. There was nothing good about it, and it pronounced the sharp contrast of the thoughts flowing through his head. He couldn’t stop moving his hands, in some way, or else he’d feel like he had made a decision. Now was not a time for decisions.

His hands sweat, and his breathing intensified. He didn’t know where to focus his eyes, so he shut them. He didn’t like the dark, so he opened them. He brought a hand to his face, pressing firmly. He sighed.

Why am I like this?

He stared at the object in his hands. He could feel its weight.

Make a choice.

The door opened, suddenly, and he heard a voice. He quickly looked up. It was Finn.

“What are you doing…?” he asked.

Shit. Shit shit shit. Now he thinks there’s something wrong with you.

“Oh, this… doesn’t work,” he started. He searched his head for an excuse. “It’s for art reference.”

Finn continued to stare. He doesn’t believe me.

“Really. It’s not even loaded and the safety’s on,” Kieran added, turning the gun to show the empty magazine slot. That much is true, anyways. I wouldn’t load it.

Finn was unchanged.

“I’ll get rid of it, if you want.”

“Yeah.”

He stood up, and thought of where to put it. The storage closet. With the other props. He slid open the door and tossed it in.

“There.”

Silence.

“…what’s up?” he asked, awkwardly.

“I wanted to tell you, I‘m sorry. I had no right barging in here like this while you were out,” Finn apologized.

Not this…

“Ahh… yeah…” Kieran got out. He couldn’t look at Finn, so he looked at the floor.

“Your paintings are great, though. You’re like… professional-level, you know? You could definitely make a living off of them.”

What?

“Eh? Thanks… you don’t think they’re weird?”

“Huh? No,” Finn answered. “They do seem a bit sad, though.”

Kieran said nothing. He doesn’t know? He didn’t notice? He remembered something, and picked up the bag on the floor.

“…by the way, you left this here?”

“Oh, that’s for you.”

He looked in the bag and pulled out the sketchbook. A sketchbook? Oh, it was my birthday two days ago. How did he know that?

“…how did you know it was my birthday?”

“Liadan said it was in the middle of January. I got the day right?”

“Yeah… thanks, Finn.”

Finn smiled and said, “Hey, that’s the first time you said my name!”

Kieran’s heart sped up a bit. Shit... I don’t think I’m getting over this, any time soon.

“…yeah.”

Monochrome: 17

2010-10-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

Finn avoided Kieran during the next two days, hoping he would calm down. It was the 14th, and he was on the third floor staircase. He stood at Kieran’s door. He still wasn’t sure about what he would say. Humoring himself, he checked if the door was locked. Surprisingly, it wasn’t.

Really? Again?

He took a breath and opened the door. As he entered, he said, “You know, you should really lock your door, Kieran.”

He stopped.

Kieran looked up, startled. He had a gun in his hand.

“What are you doing…?”

Kieran looked at the gun in his hand.

“Oh, this… doesn’t work,” he said. “I’m using it for art reference.”

That’s bullshit.

Finn stared at him.

“Really. It’s not even loaded and the safety’s on,” Kieran said, turning the gun to show the empty magazine slot.

I know you’ve tried to kill yourself before, Finn thought.

“I’ll get rid of it, if you want,” Kieran offered.

“Yeah.”

He stood up and slid open the storage closet door, tossing the gun into a pile of props.

“There.”

They were both quiet.

“…what’s up?” Kieran asked.

“I wanted to tell you, I‘m sorry. I had no right barging in here like this while you were out,” Finn apologized.

“Ahh… yeah…” Kieran said, looking at the floor.

“Your paintings are great, though. You’re like… professional-level, you know? You could definitely make a living off of them.”

Kieran looked up at Finn, a bit surprised.

“Eh? Thanks… you don’t think they’re weird?”

“Huh? No,” Finn answered. “They do seem a bit sad, though.”

Kieran didn’t respond.

“…by the way, you left this here?” Kieran mentioned, holding the bag the sketchbook was in.

“Oh, that’s for you,” Finn said.

Kieran looked in the bag and pulled out the sketchbook.

“…how did you know it was my birthday?”

“Liadan said it was in the middle of January. I got the day right?”

“Yeah… thanks, Finn.”

“Hey, that’s the first time you said my name!” Finn said, smiling.

“…yeah.”

Monochrome: 16

2010-10-20T10:46:00.001-04:00

Finn decided that, for now, he would focus on Kieran’s birthday. Art was the only hobby of Kieran’s that Finn was at all familiar with, though he didn’t know much about supplies. Most supplies were very expensive, and he had already picked up some paintbrushes. He thought back to Kieran’s sketchbook. He could probably use another one of those, at the rate he was drawing. He wondered what Kieran’s art looked like.

Finn stopped by the art store nearby after work. There was an aisle filled with nothing but sketchbooks. Finn looked through them carefully. Most of the books had flimsy paper covers and paperboard backings. He looked for something sturdier. He found a hardcover book with recycled paper. It was a bit more expensive, but, it’s good to have something solid, he thought.

When he got back to the apartments, he decided he would give the book to Kieran today. When he reached the third floor, he went to Kieran’s door and knocked.

“Kieran, hey, it’s Finn.”

No answer.

“I got you a present. Liadan told me that your birthday was coming up.”

Still, no answer. He tried turning the doorknob. It was open.

That’s strange.

He walked in, uncertain.

“Hello?”

No one was there. Finn wandered to the counter, and set down the sketchbook in its bag.

Why is his door unlocked?

Finn decided, after a moment, that he would take a peek at Kieran’s artwork.

I’m going to get caught, and he’s going to be pissed, Finn thought as he looked around. This is a terrible idea. But, I want to see his art.

He caught sight of the storage closet towards the back of the room. I think he stores his paintings in there.

Finn walked to the door, and gave it a tug. It slid open, and he entered the closet. He turned the light on, and saw the canvases.

There they are! he thought, and approached the rack. He carefully pulled a few out, and gazed at them.

Oh, wow. These are great, he thought. He spent a few minutes looking at the others. They seemed a bit melancholic.

I should put these away and go, before he’s back, Finn thought. He started to put a few of the canvases back on the rack.

“What are you doing here?” a voice asked. Finn jumped. He quickly looked at the doorway. It was Kieran.

“I’m sorry--” Finn started. Kieran caught sight of the paintings and his face drained of color.

“Get out!” he shouted.

“I just--”

“GET OUT!”

Finn ran past Kieran and out the door, into the hall. He shut it behind him.

I fucked up.

Monochrome: 15

2010-10-18T13:01:00.001-04:00

“It’s been longer, actually,” Kieran said. He was sitting at the counter with a glass of water. Devlin was making food.

“I don’t have any sense of time. Every day feels the same. It seems slower, now.”

“Well, you did lose your job. That‘s a large part of your day, gone.”

“I think it’s more than that,” he said. He sighed, and, taking a drink, added, “This is just stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

“Half the time I can’t get to sleep unless I exhaust myself to the point where I can’t dream anymore. Because if I do, he’s there. I can’t deal with that. And… when I’m around him… I feel weak. Useless. It’s stupid. I felt better before any of this happened,” Kieran ranted.

“Were you really that much better?” Devlin asked, doubting.

“…no, I guess not.”

“Why are you so against it, anyways?”

“It’s not right?”

“That’s not it.”

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s true, you don’t understand it, but… that’s not it,” she told him.

“Because it scares me. Because I can’t control it. Because I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“And?”

“Because… I don’t know,” Kieran said, groaning. He laid his head down on the table. “Like I said, this is stupid.”

“You’ve got such a bad vocabulary.”

Monochrome: 14

2010-10-17T22:56:00.000-04:00

Kieran sat in his vacant apartment, sketching furiously on his pad of paper. He sat on the cold wood floor, the apartment lit only by the sunlight shining through the windows. The sky was white with clouds, and it rained faintly. The buzzer hummed at his door. He put his sketchbook down and went to answer it.

“Hey,” the girl at the door said. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” Kieran answered. He welcomed her in.

She was almost as tall as Kieran, with sandy blonde hair and red eyes (a case of ocular albinism). Comparatively, she was much younger. She brought in a bag of groceries.

“You never have enough food here,” she said, unpacking the bag on the counter.

“Thanks.”

Kieran walked over and helped her put the groceries away. Afterwards, he sat against the wall, and the girl sat at the counter.

“…how are you doing?” Kieran asked.

“Better. What about you?”

“I don’t know,” Kieran said.

“You said you wanted to talk about something. That’s rare,” the girl said, opening a bottle of juice.

“Yeah… I guess,” he replied.

“So… what’s going on?” she asked.

“I… don’t know,” Kieran muttered.

“Bzzt. No repeat answers.”

Kieran sat quietly, for a moment. He stood up and walked over to his sketchbook, picking it up. He handed it to the girl.

“Here.”

She stared at him with a confused look on her face, and took the pad. She flipped through the pages slowly.

“Is this…?”

“Yes. There’s more…” he said, leading her to the storage closet. He slid open the door and turned the light on. He pulled out canvases from the racks.

“…goddamn.”

“I… don’t really know what to make of this,” Kieran said.

“I can see why. When did this all start…?”

“About four or five months ago. Not sure. I had more, but… I got rid of it.”

She looked at him. His eyes were narrow and his mouth was frowning, slightly.

“He doesn’t know, does he?”

“No.”

“You’re not going to tell him.”

“No… I’m not.”

She paused, and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know, Devlin.”

Amaterasu Pic Spam

2010-10-16T15:49:00.006-04:00

I'll post some better camera pics when I can (as in... when I have appropriate lighting for that)

What's that? Stuff? Great!

2010-10-16T13:12:00.001-04:00

Monochrome: 13

2010-10-14T18:27:00.003-04:00

Finn began to make more attempts to talk to Kieran over the next few days. Results were, at best, slow; Kieran was carefully making his way out of his shell. On the sixth, Liadan Grey was back. She was the landlady, and Finn thought it might be a good idea to try talking to her about Kieran.

He opened the door to the apartments and headed inside, taking off his scarf. Liadan lived on the first floor, so he approached her door and knocked. She answered almost immediately.

“Hi, Finn!” she greeted, cheerfully.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?” Finn asked.

“Yeah, sure, come on in!”

Finn entered her apartment and was soon overwhelmed by the scent of flowers. He was a bit surprised, as he never really saw Liadan as the feminine sort. As they walked to the kitchen, the smell was replaced with tea.

“Do you want some?” Liadan offered.

“Sure,” Finn replied.

He took a seat at the table. It was small and quaint, all wood. Flowering patterns adorned the edge. It seemed a bit old.

“So, what‘s up?” she asked as she set down Finn’s cup.

“What can you tell me about Kieran Sullivan?”

“Huh? Sullivan?” Liadan asked, surprised. “I thought you two hated each other.”

“Well, it’s true that we didn’t get along before you left… but, not long after, we talked. And, I’m trying to be friends with him, now.”

“That’s brave of you,” she said, “That, or foolish.”

“Maybe. Perhaps both.”

Liadan stopped to think.

“You’ve only been here a year, right… alright. What do you want to know?”

“Anything, I suppose. Whatever would help.”

“I assume you’ve become a bit familiar with his personality, by now.”

“Yeah, he’s kind of… difficult.”

“I’d say that’s the least of it. From what I gather, he’s probably been like this for years. Very negative. Drinks a lot. He tried to kill himself, once.”

“Are you serious…?” Finn asked, concerned.

“Yeah. I was the one that found him. …you know, I probably shouldn’t be telling you about this.”

“I… won’t mention it to him,” Finn said, staring at the table.

“I have a feeling it wasn’t the first time. He seemed completely unfazed by it. That’s the scary part,” Liadan said, looking out the window.

“…what else can you tell me?” Finn asked, after a moment of thought.

“Well, I don’t think he really has any friends or family. He never has anyone over, or goes to see anyone, as far as I can tell. Oh, but, there is this girl, I think it’s his cousin. She visits him, sometimes. But… not that often. I think her name was Devlin.”

“I see…” Finn said, thinking. She could be another person to ask about Kieran.

“Oh! I think his birthday’s in a few days. I know it’s like, mid-January. Can’t remember the day, though,” she said, perking up. “Capricorn... not a surprising sign, for him.”

“Ah, alright. Thanks for your time,” Finn said, getting out of his seat.

“Aww, you’re just gonna leave?”

“Err, yeah, I have some things I have to do.”

“Alright. Well, you should come over sometime!” she suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind!”

“Seeya!”

Monochrome: 12

2010-10-13T21:12:00.001-04:00

Finn pulled open the door to his apartment, one hand on the doorknob and the other on Kieran’s shoulder. They walked over to the couch, and Finn set Kieran down.

“Jeez, you can’t even walk. How much did you drink?” Finn asked, exasperated.

“I lost count around 12...”

“Really?”

“Gotta do somethin’ to shut my head up…”

“What do you mean?”

“…y’ever get sick of thinking? ‘s like that.”

Kieran turned himself and lay on the couch, letting out a breath.

“Now, I got a question, Blake,” he declared.

“What?”

“What the hell’s your first name? I can’t remember for shit right now. ‘s driving me crazy.”

“Finn.”

“What, like, Finnegan? Finnegan, begin again?”

“Huh? No. Just Finn.”

“What are you, a fish? Finnegan’s better, I think. Way better. Tell everyone, that’s your name,” he rambled. “You know, I remember your name now. I mean, you told me, but I remember knowing it. Before. You know?”

“I suppose,” Finn responded, holding back a laugh.

“That’s your name now, remember, Finnegan.”

“Why is that my name, now?”

“Because it’s better, were you listening?”

“You’re really weird, when you’re drunk.”

“You’re always weird. This place is so fuckin’ clean. It’s crazy. And you got all these books. And, you go makin’ friends with dumb people. And I don’t even mean that hipster kid, I mean, me. Dumb. A drinker who paints. A painter who drinks. Heheh. Sorry, that’s funny. I don‘t know why.”

“Do you really have such a big problem with yourself that you can’t imagine someone trying to be your friend?” Finn asked.

“Huh?”

They were both quiet for a moment.

“I… don’t know,” Kieran said. The pause continued.

“Hey, do you mind if I call you Kieran? Instead of ‘Sullivan’… it feels weird calling you that when I’ve gotten to know you a bit better,” Finn asked.

“Sure, I don’t care, call me whatever you want,” Kieran answered.

“Okay. And, you can call me Finn,” Finn replied.

“…alright.”

The city outside grew louder. The midnight countdown started. Kieran and Finn listened, for a moment. There was an uproar.

“Happy new year,” Finn said.

Monochrome: 11

2010-10-12T22:52:00.004-04:00

It was New Year’s Eve. 6 PM. Finn pushed open the front door of Grisaille Apartments. He stepped out into the street in a thick jacket, a scarf around his neck and a knit cap pulled over his head. It was bitter cold, but even then the city was full of life. The streets were filled with cars, and the sidewalks were full of people. The sky was gone, by now--flushed out by the city lights. Slush lie in the gutters, and icy mounds of dirty snow lay in random pockets along the street. The pavement was wet and glossy.

The city was usually very dull and drab, but around this time of year, it was electrified. Storefronts and stalls were flashing with color and song filled the streets. The aroma of a fresh, hot meal waited at every corner. Performers gathered in the parks and plazas. Everyone was alive, in harmony.

Finn felt refreshed. He was looking forward to seeing his friends. They all met up at a local coffee shop a few blocks away from Finn’s apartment. Luke, Gavin, and Jenny were sitting around a table with hot drinks.

“Hi, guys!” Finn said.

Kieran sat hunched over the bar, his left hand wrapped around a sweating glass bottle. The bar was hazy and loud. He sat far away from the boisterous crowd that was swelling through the tables and chairs, crowding the stools, and lining the walls. His head was pounding, and he was starting to wonder why he was even there, in the first place.

A few men roared with laughter, and others joined them. Glasses clanked and slid across tables. At one table, two men competed over shot glasses. The bartenders were mostly women, today. The TV still ran Christmas commercials, ignored by the mass of people.

Despite the noise and the pounding in his head, Kieran still found himself surrounded in unwanted thoughts. He grabbed a pen and started to scribble on a spare menu--whatever came to mind. He drew clocks and birds, skyscrapers, nouveau curves and circuits. But, he couldn’t focus. He checked the time; it was 9:47 PM.

“Another drink, please,” Kieran said.

Finn stood amongst his friends in the plaza, listening to a band playing the New Year’s show. As the night progressed, the city was getting even busier. The crowd was noisy and vagrant, shifting constantly. Finn was starting to feel alone, and out of place. He checked the time. It was 11:09 PM.

“I think I’m gonna go!” Finn called over the roar of the crowd and the music.

“What? But it’s not even midnight!” Aaron answered.

“I’m just not feeling too good right now, I’m gonna head home,” Finn explained.

“Alright,” Aaron conceded.

Kieran wandered down the street in a blur. Everything was too bright, too loud. He was tired. A few times, he felt like he couldn’t remember where he was going. His legs seemed too light. He tried stepping down harder. That didn’t work. He started to lose his balance.

“Hey, watch out!”

His vision faded, briefly, as he fell backwards. He could feel his body crashing against someone else.

“Thanks,” he murmured.

“Sullivan?”

“Huh?”

Kieran looked up. It was Finn.

“Ohhh, heyyy buddy,” he got out.

“I see you’re a little drunk…” Finn answered.

“Ehh, just a bit more’n usual…”

Monochrome: 10

2010-10-11T21:00:00.001-04:00

It was two days after Christmas. Kieran had spent the day alone, while Finn and Bee went out. Finn had tried inviting Kieran to join them, but he was met with protest. He said he ‘wasn’t up to it’, and he had no place being there.

Finn was disappointed in this response, as was Bee (who encouraged Finn’s attempts to befriend Kieran). At her suggestion, Finn bought some paintbrushes for Kieran while they were out. The two had spent the next day together, as well.

It was after work, and Finn was walking home. He dialed Kieran’s number and waited for the ring.

“Yeah? Err, hello?” Kieran answered, correcting himself.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

“Nothing really, just painting.”

“I just got out of work; got something for you. I’m gonna stop by in a bit.”

“Eh? Alright.”

“Seeya.”

“Yeah.”

Finn rang the buzzer to Kieran’s apartment. A moment later, Kieran answered the door.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hi,” Finn responded. “Err, are you alright?”

“Huh?”

“You look kind of… not too good?”

“Oh, I haven’t slept in a few days.”

“A few days?” Finn asked, puzzled.

“Yeah.”

“Are you serious?”

“…yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, Kieran.”

“Hey, I’m not doing it for fun,” Kieran said, turning in to his apartment.

Finn followed him, still a bit baffled. He looked around. This was the first time Finn had been in Kieran’s apartment since the night he lost his job.

“Hey, did you find a new job, yet?”

“No… this time of the year, there’s always a rush for jobs.”

“Ah…” Finn trailed off. He was starting to wonder if Kieran was going to be able to keep his apartment.

“You said you were coming over here for something?” Kieran asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Finn acknowledged as he reached into his bag.

“Here.”

Kieran took the plastic bag from Finn’s hand and opened it. He pulled out the paintbrushes.

“…thanks,” Kieran said, staring at them. “…I don’t have anything for you.”

“Oh, that’s alright. Maybe you could paint me something?” Finn suggested.

“Sure,” Kieran said. He looked over the brushes.

“These must have been expensive.”

“Well, I wanted to get some good brushes.”

“Yeah.”

Kieran walked to the counter and placed the brushes down.

“Hey, I know things didn’t work out so well last time… but, my friends and I are hanging out again, New Year’s Eve. Do you want to come along?”

“It’s better if I don’t.”

“I can get Gavin to lay off.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to do this. Why are you trying so hard, anyways?”

“Because we’re friends?”

“That was a fast decision.”

“You don’t want to be friends?”

“No, I’m just… surprised.”

“I think I am, too.”

“Heh, well, I think I’m going to have to decline.”

“…alright. But, we’ll hang out sometime?”

“Sure.”

Monochrome: 9

2010-10-09T20:20:00.001-04:00

Kieran jolted up from bed. His hands firmly grasped his blanket. He turned his head to look at the clock. It was only a few minutes past midnight. He sighed.

I’m not gonna be able to sleep, at this rate, he thought.

He tore the blankets off and got out of his bed, putting his slippers on and grabbing a jacket. He opened the door from his bedroom to the hall, and wandered out into the studio. He grabbed his sketchbook off the counter. He glanced through the pages.

No good.

It’s all him.

He slumped against the counter, slowly looking over his drawings.

Why is it always him?

He tossed his sketchbook aside, stood up, and walked towards the storage closet. He flipped the light switch, and approached a group of canvases. He looked through them all. Over and over, it was the same thing.

Why…? It doesn’t make any sense. I’m not…

He stared at one of the canvases for a while.

I wasn’t like this, before.

He felt a surge, and lifted the canvas from the rack. He stormed into the studio and placed it on the easel. He stopped. His eyes were locked on it.

What am I doing?

Monochrome: 8

2010-10-05T20:04:00.002-04:00

Kieran shut and locked the door as he entered his apartment. He stood there for a moment, and leaned against the door. He sighed, and slid down into a sitting position.

Why did I do that?

He brought his hands to his face and grabbed at his hair. Nothing but frustration.

That was stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve just stayed here. I shouldn’t…

He ran through his regrets and aggravation over and over in his head, slowly tensing up. A few minutes passed like this. He slammed his fist down on the floor.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered.

A soft knock came at the door.

“Sullivan,” Finn called through the door.

Kieran sat still for a moment, unsure if he should answer.

“I’m sorry about Gavin. He’s known me for a few years now, we’re pretty good friends. He’s kind of hot-headed sometimes, as you can see. I don‘t think he meant what he said, he‘s just mad, he wants to yell at someone…” Finn rambled.

“…it’s fine,” Kieran answered. “He’s right, anyways.”

“You always say that. You said that to me, too.”

“It’s true.”

There was a pause.

“…are you okay?” Finn asked.

“I’m fine, it’s not the end of the world.”

Monochrome: 7

2010-10-04T20:55:00.001-04:00

“My key’s here, I’m heading back to my apartment.”

Finn stared at the message on his phone. Unknown number. Must be Sullivan. His phone buzzed again.

“There’s something wrong with your sink, I swear I didn’t do anything to it.”

“Yeah, it’s been messed up for a few weeks now.”

Work was slow. Finn thought about next week. Next Friday, the 24th, he was having his Christmas party. He counted his guests in his head. Gavin, Jenny, Aaron, Luke, Bee. Maybe Sullivan was coming too. He was hoping he could convince his friends that Kieran really was different. Maybe they would accept him, and then he would have more friends. Maybe he would be happier.

The week slowly drained away, full of quiet work. Finn started a few reviews of recent books. By Thursday, the first was complete. The party was tomorrow. He left to buy some groceries after he posted his review online.

Comparatively, the time leading up to the party was a mere blink in time. Before he realized the hour, Gavin and Jenny were knocking on his door. Bee arrived a few minutes later. She met him with a kiss. Aaron and Luke joined the rest at seven thirty.

Eventually, it was nine. Nine ten. Nine fifteen. Nine twenty. Nine thirty. It didn’t seem like Sullivan was going to be coming over.

“Finn, don’t worry about it,” Bee said to him. “You have us. You have me.”

She added, “I’m sure he’s fine. You can’t take on everyone’s problems.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Finn said. Bee hugged his arm and smiled.

Ten more minutes passed. The doorbell rang. Finn answered the door.

“Uhh… hey, Blake,” Kieran said. He had a box of cookies in his hand. “Were we… supposed to bring food? I brought these. I don’t know if you want them.”

“Oh, great, thanks! What are they?”

“Ginger snaps. I was going to get peanut butter, but I thought someone might be allergic…” Kieran said awkwardly, scratching his head.

“Hah, come on in, I’ll introduce everyone.”

Kieran followed Finn to the living room, where Finn introduced him.

“This is Kieran Sullivan. He’s my neighbor,” he said, smiling.

“These are my friends, Aaron, Gavin, Jenny, Luke,” Finn recited, pausing and pointing for each of them. They each said their greetings.

“And this is Bee—short for Bianca—she’s my girlfriend,” he said finally. Bee got out of her seat and went to shake Kieran’s hand.

“Uhh, hi,” Kieran got out, shaking Bee’s hand. She smiled brightly at him.

“So, do you guys want anything to drink?” Finn asked everyone. Everyone made their requests.

“Beer, I don’t know, anything with alcohol,” Kieran said.

“I don’t have any,” Finn lied.

“What? Really? Water, then, I guess.”

Finn left to the kitchen, and Kieran took a seat on the carpet. He stared at the TV, which was playing a holiday commercial and its accompanying jingle. Holidays didn’t mean much to him, anymore.

“Sullivan, right?” asked Gavin.

“Hm? Yeah,” Kieran answered.

“Why are you here?”

“I… was asked to come here.”

“What makes you think—”

“Gavin, stop, we don’t need this—” Bee interrupted.

“No, Sullivan, what makes you think you can just come here after how you‘ve been acting?”

“…I don’t. I was asked to. You’d have to talk to Blake about that.”

Finn returned to the room with the drinks as Gavin continued.

“To hell with that! I’m not too comfortable with some jackass mooching off of my friend!” Gavin shouted.

“Gavin, what the hell!” Finn yelled.

“This was a mistake…” Kieran whispered.

“I’m going to go,” Kieran said, standing up, then heading for the door.

“Sullivan, wait—”

“Good night,” Kieran finished as he went out the door.

Finn stood there for a moment, and the apartment was quiet. In the next instant, he turned to Gavin and directed his anger at him.

“Why would you do that?!” Finn shouted. “He didn’t do anything wrong! Why don’t you understand that?!”

Gavin seemed surprised by Finn’s response.

“Stop thinking you need to defend me! I can take care of myself!”

“Finn, I’m sorry, I—”

“No, just… leave! Everyone, please.”

Everyone gathered their things as Finn sat in a chair in the dining room. He buried his face in his palms, letting out an exasperated sigh. Bee approached him, planting a kiss on his cheek and saying good night. As everyone left, Gavin apologized, unanswered.

Sketchdump Time

2010-10-04T20:00:00.005-04:00

This next picture...

-puts on sunglasses- ...is drawn to crime.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Monochrome: 6

2010-10-04T00:10:00.000-04:00

“Finn, are you completely out of your mind?”

“What?”

“How could you possibly let that psychotic asshole into your apartment?”

“He’s not that bad,” Finn said, stirring his drink. He was sitting in a diner with two of his friends, Gavin and Jenny. They met up after work to get some late lunch. Gavin and Jenny were dating. They had met Finn in college.

“This guy was treating you like shit just a week ago,” Gavin pointed out.

“Well, I think he’s done with that,” Finn started.

“How do you know?”

“The way he was talking, how he acted, it was all pretty honest,” Finn responded. He added, “And… I don’t think he has anyone else.”

“Yeah, he probably drives everyone away with his jackass behavior! Look, Finn. I’m not trying to tell you not to help people, but, I don’t trust this guy. You shouldn’t get too involved with his life.”

“Maybe.”

The conversation drifted away from Finn’s temporary (and temperamental) roommate. Despite Gavin’s warnings, Finn wasn’t convinced. Finn had dealt with Kieran firsthand; he witnessed Kieran’s behavior. He could tell that things were different with him. And, he could tell that Kieran needed some sort of help.

Gavin and Jenny soon parted ways with Finn, and Finn left the diner not long afterwards. As he walked down the sidewalk, he wondered what would happen when he came home. He couldn’t help but fear that Kieran made a similar mess of his own apartment. He assured himself that Kieran had enough composure not to.

Finn soon arrived back at the apartment, and opened the door. Everything seemed about the same. Kieran was again sat on the couch, drawing.

“You sure do draw a lot.”

Okami - Mixed Media Project (Progress)

2010-10-01T18:24:00.005-04:00

In my Color and Design class, we've been working on a mixed media project. I decided that I wanted to work with a dog for my design, and eventually wound up on Okami, when checking my available colors. So, here's my progress, so far!

High contrast (to see the sketch) <-- CLICK HERE LOL

Monochrome: 5

2010-09-30T13:54:00.000-04:00

“There’s the sofa,” Finn said, “you can sleep there.”

“Yeah, we’ve met,” Kieran remarked. He threw his backpack onto the sofa.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice you had a bag,” Finn said.

“Yeah, good thing, anyways.”

“Why, what’s in there?”

“Nothing much, just a sketchbook, really.”

“You‘re an artist?” Finn asked. Kieran was heading toward the sofa, and sat down.

“Yeah, why else would I be in the apartment with a studio?”

“The space?” Finn responded. Kieran was going through his bag.

“I’m gonna make some food,” Finn told him, “do you want some?”

“What is it?”

“Pasta, I think.”

“Sure.”

Finn headed out to the kitchen as Kieran withdrew his sketchbook. Finn pried open the cabinets, retrieving a pot and a box of pasta. He set the pasta down, filling the pot with water. He turned the stove on, sliding the pot on top of the burner.

As the water slowly heated, he returned to the cabinets, pulling out containers as he looked for the sauce. He set the glass jar down, and put the rest away. Next came the saucepan, which he sat down on the countertop. He poured the sauce in, and set it on another burner on low. Out of things to do as the water boiled, he checked on Kieran. Kieran was sat on the sofa, sketchbook on his legs, drawing.

“Are you doing anything next week?” Finn asked.

“Hm?”

“Christmas.”

“Oh, no, I don’t really… believe in that, anyways.”

“Still, it’s nice to have something to do.”

“I guess,” Kieran responded, continuing to draw. Finn went to the kitchen to check on the water (even though he knew it wasn’t ready yet), and sat down at the dining room table to wait.

“I’m having some friends over. My parents are away, so we’re going to do something when they’re back,” Finn said, a little louder so Kieran could hear him.

“You could come over, too, if you want,” Finn added.

“I don’t think that would work out so well.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think I’m the sort of person you usually hang out with. And, let’s face it, I’m not exactly an agreeable person. I will probably just ruin it, really,” Kieran said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Well, then, don’t be an asshole,” Finn stated simply.

“Hah, can’t argue that,” Kieran responded.

“So, will you do it?” Finn asked again.

“Maybe.”

Finn could tell he wasn’t going to get a ‘yes’ out of Kieran. He returned to the stove and continued watching it. It reached boiling, and he dropped in the pasta, stirring the sauce. It was done, soon.

“Food’s ready,” Finn called.

Monochrome: 4

2010-09-27T16:24:00.002-04:00

The next few days went by quietly. Finn went to work and came home, all without comment from Kieran. During the first two days, Finn was relieved. However, as the week continued into its end, he noticed he wasn’t seeing Kieran at all. He started to wonder if he was too harsh.

The next day came, and Kieran was sitting in front of his door in the hall. He had his face down in his hands. Finn approached him slowly.

“Hey,” he said.

“…hey,” Kieran responded, removing one of his hands from his face.

“You’re locked out?”

“Yep. Keys are in the door, still.”

“Where’s Grey?”

“She’s visiting her parents. She’s going to mail me a key,” Kieran said, putting down his other hand and sighing.

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Kieran said with a laugh, staring at the floor. Finn walked over and sat next to him.

“I’m sorry about last week,” Finn said. “I… shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine. You were right,” Kieran answered.

They were both quiet for a moment, as Finn tried to find the right words to say.

But, Kieran got to it first: “Why did you bring me to your apartment, anyways?”

“I guess… it’s because it didn’t seem right to leave you there.”

“I’ve probably spent a few nights on the floor.”

“It didn’t feel secure anymore,” Finn explained. There was another, momentary lull in the conversation. Finn picked it back up.

“Are you… okay?” he asked awkwardly.

“Oh, I’m fine, just locked out of my home,” Kieran responded. He sighed at his own sarcasm and answered more properly, “I don’t know, what do you mean?”

“Well, what happened last week?” Finn specified.

“I… lost my job. Got pissed, went drinking. Then I got mugged on the way back home. It’s like, nope, the job wasn’t enough. Had to get mugged, too. Whatever, I didn’t have much in my wallet, anyways,” Kieran complained, very noticeably aggravated.

“You lost your job?”

“Yeah, I think I said that.”

“No, I mean, what about your apartment?”

“I think I have enough in the bank to pay off this month, then I can’t really push it much further.”

“What about a new job?”

“Gotta find someplace that’s hiring that’ll take me. So far, no luck.”

“Do you have somewhere else to stay?”

“Not… really,” Kieran said, reluctantly.

“Your parents…?” Finn asked.

“…no,” Kieran said, after a pause. Finn decided not to ask about it.

“So, you don’t have anywhere to go tonight then?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ll… figure something out,” Kieran answered.

“Well,” Finn started, “You could stay at my place until you get the key.”

“Eh… you don’t want me around.”

“I could put up with it for a couple days,” Finn assured him, laughing. He stood up.

“Come on.”

“…alright,” Kieran said.

Monochrome: 3

2010-09-25T13:27:00.002-04:00

Kieran awoke to an unfamiliar room. He was lying on a soft couch, staring at a TV. The room was quite clean and tidy, and he could hear someone in the other room. He began to get up to investigate, and his head surged in pain. He winced and grabbed his head.

“Ugh…” he groaned. Fucking hangovers.

After a moment of waiting for his head to calm down, he rounded the corner into the other room. Finn stood in his kitchen, making toast.

“So, uhhh, how did I get here…?” Kieran asked.

“You were passed out in your apartment, last night. The place was wrecked and your door was wide open,” Finn told him without looking up from the counter.

“Oh,” Kieran said, not entirely phased. He stared at the dining table in front of him. Just as neat as the living room. There was a bowl of fruit in the center of the table.

“Care to explain?” Finn asked, sounding somewhat agitated.

“Nope,” Kieran responded, picking up an apple from the bowl.

Finn put down his knife and looked up, clearly annoyed.

“You’re really not going to explain any of that.”

“Nahhh.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why the fuck do you care? It’s none of your goddamn business.”

Finn was angry.

“None of my business? Screw you! I thought you got robbed or attacked or something! But, nope! You’re just an asshole who gets drunk and trashes his apartment!” Finn shouted.

For a moment, neither of them responded.

“Thanks for the apple,” Kieran said, taking a bite and heading out the door.

Music Meme

2010-09-22T15:38:00.003-04:00

CLICK HERE PLEASE TO SEE THIS

Playlist: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=DCE8378D13A2F2D4

The Disaster March

2010-09-22T00:16:00.001-04:00

Monochrome: 2

2010-09-20T21:28:00.002-04:00

Finn came home in a taxi cab. It wasn’t long past ten at night, and he had gone out with some friends after work. The moon hung still in the sky, half full and glowing on the clouds. It was cold. Finn stuffed his hands in his pocket and headed for the door. The ‘lobby’ (it was really just two sets of doors and stairs) was small, but much warmer than outside.

Finn slowly made his way up the stairs to the third floor, a bit worn out from work. It felt like he was the only one home. He could do with a little peace and quiet.

When he reached the top of the stairs on the third floor, he stopped. Sullivan's apartment door was wide open, and the lights were turned off.

What the hell...?

Finn approached the doorway cautiously and looked inside. He couldn't see much. He felt for the lightswitch on the wall, turning it on.

The apartment was a mess. Chairs toppled, the couch on its side, the rug askew. Sullivan himself was out on the floor, face down. Finn panicked, and ran to check on him. Sullivan reeked of alcohol, but was otherwise fine.

"Did he do this...?" Finn asked himself.

"What the fuck are you doing here..." Sullivan mumbled as he started to wake.

"Your door was open and the lights were out," Finn said. Sullivan seemed to be out again.

Shit. What do I do? This place is a goddamn mess.

Finn stood up and looked around. He seriously wrecked this place.

As much as I hate to say it, it would probably be easier if I just brought him over to my place...

Finn checked Sullivan's pockets to see if he had his keys on him. Good, I don't have to find those. He grabbed Sullivan's arm and picked him up, locking and shutting the door behind him.

I'm gonna hate dealing with this, tomorrow.

Hey look, stuff

2010-09-20T14:25:00.002-04:00

Monochrome: 1

2010-09-20T01:43:00.002-04:00

Finn awoke to the quiet twittering of his cell phone on the nightstand. As his dreams drifted away, he lazily groped for his phone, silencing its ringing. He brought the phone to his face, examining the screen.

8:00a.m.

He heaved his body up from the mattress as he squinted his eyes in the light. Breathing in yawns, his feet moved him towards the kitchen. Skillet. Margarine. Eggs. Cheddar. As he ate breakfast, he started to feel more awake. He moved on to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and showering.

Finn pulled on his work clothes, keeping mind of the time during his whole morning routine. He was heading into work earlier than usual today, preparing for a hectic new book release. It was going to be a long day.

He took his wallet and his keys, and grabbed his coat. He locked the door, then headed down the stairs.

Looks like I'm lucky today... I haven't seen Sullivan, Finn thought.

As Finn approached the doorway, his mood immediately sank. Kieran Sullivan stood in front of the door, carrying his groceries and looking for his keys. He hadn't seen him yet. Finn wondered if he could get past him unnoticed, but quickly realized there was no way. He made his way to the door as Sullivan pushed it open. They walked past each other, and Finn sighed in relief.

"Heya, pussy," Sullivan remarked.

Goddamn it.

Couple Meme

2010-09-18T13:51:00.001-04:00

First, pick a few of your couples. No more than five and no less than two (you can do more or less if you really want to but it might be really long or really short…).

Kieran and Finn

Answer the following questions from the guy’s perspective (or, in the case of same sex couples, the one who wears the pants in the relationship or whoever you want to go first…)

1. What exactly was it about this partner that he was attracted to?
Kieran: What the fuck is this shi--
Me: -shoves Kieran out of the way- AHEM. Kieran just sort of liked Finn in general when he first met him. Took a little while for it to settle in his head and for him to realize.

2. So, here’s a scenario for you: some guy is hitting relentlessly on your significant other? What do you do?
Kieran: Are you seriously doing this right now?
Me: Yes.
Kieran: This is fucking stupid
Me: ANYWAYS he'd tell whoever it was to fuck off, probably.

3. Where did they take their significant other to on their first date? Details plz!
Kieran: Who the fuck cares?
Me: Stop being a difficult bastard.
Kieran: No.
Me: I'd force you to stop, but it's out of character.
Kieran: Yeah, fuck you.
Me: Why am I typing out an argument between myself and my fictional character what the fuck ANYWAYS BACK TO THE QUESTION: they probably just wandered around in the city or something.

4. So, do you think of yourself as possessive?
Kieran: This is seriously the most embarassing shit you've ever pulled.
Me: Why am I typing thisssssss... anyways. He is, to some extent. Though is probably a bit afraid to show it.

5. Do you regret taking in your significant other?
Kieran: what
Me: I don't really get this question, and I assume it is non-applicable. MOVING ON.

6. Any angry Ex’s we need to be aware of?
Kieran: Yeah, oh boy, let's be Scott Pilgrim
Me: You don't even know what Scott Pilgrim is.
Kieran: You do.
Me: True. ANSWER- not for Kieran. Finn, probably not.

7. What physical traits do you find most attractive about your significant other?
Kieran: No no no no no no no
Me: So difficult. Anyways, if we were to go to the gayest recesses of Kieran's head
Kieran: Gonna kill you
Me: He probably thinks Finn is cute.
Kieran: ARGHHHHHH

8. Are they hot?
Kieran: I take a vow of silence.
Me: YEAH MAN NO H8
Kieran: SHUT UP
Me: Bro, I have no idea. Sure, Finn's probably considered 'hot'. He did get a lot of laydeez.
Kieran: ughhhhhhh

9. Do you think YOU’RE hot?
Kieran: Yeah, man, starving artists are all the rage.
Me: You're so hilarious when you're self-hating.

10. Have you met your significant other’s family? What was the outcome of that meeting if you have?
Kieran: 'Significant other' sounds so PC.
Me: No, they haven't met.

Alright, now we’re going to let the women answer some questions! (Or the one who’s not um…wearing the pants in the relationship…)

11. So, having read the above questions, what do you think about the way you’re significant other answered them?
Finn: Kieran's an ass as usual. Also, am I seriously the 'woman'?
Me: Yes.
Finn: I can see why Kieran hates you.

12. Okay, so some young, supple woman is hitting on your man. What do you do?
Finn: I think I would laugh.
Me: It's probably Nyx.

13. Where do you like your significant other to take you on dates?
Finn: Uhhh
Me: EXCUSE ME THEY ARE JUST SO SHY AND IT'S SO FUNNY BUT IT MAKES IT DIFFICULT FOR ME TO LET THEM ANSWER THESE. Anyways, Finn probably doesn't have any preferences.

14. What is one thing you wish you could change about your significant other?
Finn: Err, well, I wish he'd cheer up, stop drinking and stuff.
Me: D'AWWW.
Finn: :|

15. Disregarding the laws of physics, nature, and gravity… what would the children of you and your significant other be like?
Finn: What is this I don't even
Me: No

16. As a follow up to the above question, do you want kids?
Finn: Uh, maybe, I don't really know.

17. So…. Who is really in charge of the two of you ^_~
Finn: In charge?
Me: I will disregard the meme's intentions and simply say that Kieran acts like some big asshole jerk, so it'd seem like he's like... the decision-maker, but Finn tends to have to direct him.

18. So, have you or are you living together? If not, would you want to? If you are, are you happy?
Finn: We have, before. Kieran lost his apartment and I let him stay with me until he got a new job. We were just friends then.
Me: HEHEHEHEHEHE.
Finn: You are so creepy.

19. So, what do you like most about your significant other?
Finn: He's a lot nicer than he seems.

20. Vanilla or Chocolate?
Finn: Whoah, what? That's a bit different. Vanilla, I guess.

Alright, so now you get to answer some questions together! =) This should be fun…

21. Alright… what movies do you enjoy watching together and why?
Kieran: Why do people obsess about watching movies as a couple? It's not like your relationship has been improved by watching a damn movie.
Finn: Kieran cried during Finding Nemo.
Kieran: That's bull.

22. So…what would be your nightmare date? ^^
Kieran: It's all a nightmare.
Finn: Shut up.

23. Okay, as a follow up to the question above, what would be your dream date?
Kieran: Ughhhhh
Finn: Could you sound any more like you don't want to be here?

24. AWKWARD QUESTION TIME~! <3 How is your love life? (No graphic details plz…)
Kieran: PASS
Finn: Uhhhhh next question

25. So, what are your plans for the future?
Kieran: Well, I'm gonna get some pizza later.
Finn: Insightful.

26. MOAR AWKWARD QUESTIONS~! <3 What lies have you told your significant other?
Finn: This jerk can't lie for shit.
Kieran: Fuck you.

27. Do y’all go on group dates?
Kieran: Y'ALLLLLLLLLLL
Finn: ...no, we don't.

28. So, dates aside, what is your favorite thing to do together?
Kieran: Duel over a vat of acid.
Finn: I think that's a good metaphor for talking to you ever.

29. Okay, second to last question. You’re almost done!!!! =) Are you and your significant other polar opposites, or do you ‘click’?
Kieran: My fist clicks with his face. I guess, I don't know. I'm getting kinda lazy.
Finn: Pretty different, I think.

30. DANANANAAAAAA~! © Nintendo The last question! Alright, we’re wrapping things up! AND THE FINAL QUESTION IS: Who are you tagging to do this quiz? (…we totally did not run out of ideas or anything like that…)
Fart fart poop fart

Character Work

2010-09-12T02:52:00.002-04:00

Kanji Plushie

2010-08-25T00:12:00.008-04:00

Kanji Progress

2010-08-24T00:31:00.004-04:00

Old Profile Pictures

2010-08-17T19:58:00.005-04:00

I made these for my CAGD class several months ago. Not very good, but, eh.

iScribble

2010-08-06T03:15:00.004-04:00

Sketches again

2010-08-05T17:16:00.002-04:00

Azazel Munny Pt. 2

2010-07-18T20:20:00.003-04:00

Here's some stuff

2010-07-17T19:50:00.002-04:00

Azazel Munny Pt. 1

2010-07-16T19:39:00.003-04:00

99 and Felicity

2010-07-10T18:08:00.002-04:00

To quote TWULF: Awh yeah.

Modnation Racers Mods

2010-07-06T18:48:00.002-04:00

Sketches

2010-07-04T23:29:00.002-04:00

Sketches

2010-06-10T22:30:00.004-04:00

Drawing II Final Project

2010-06-10T15:39:00.002-04:00

Not sure if I like it anymore.

3D Dot Game Heroes Sprites

2010-05-31T14:20:00.003-04:00

I have also made Pyramid Head, though I have no photos of him right now.

He has no pants

2010-05-10T19:48:00.005-04:00

He is upset because someone took his pants.

Drawing II class, one of my homeworks.

Om nom sketches

2010-04-26T22:27:00.003-04:00

Sprites

2010-04-23T23:41:00.005-04:00

Azazel, Devlin, Adam, Noah, Fenris, Kona
Maddox, Raza, Sei, Lilith, Nikolas, Juniper
Cain, Jin, Erebos, Nyx, Akira, Sonira
Veles, Sana, Volos, Adrienne, Lenny, Marvin

http://www.geocities.jp/kurororo4/looseleaf/

Rogue Orion, Sailor Asiaros (Sonira), Street Devil Adam, Girl Lenny